Self-Imposed Pressure

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'You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.'

Martin Luther King.

For many of us, most of the pressure we feel in life… we create for ourselves.

Last week, I talked about the conscientious achiever. Now I want to explain why highly conscientious people can accidentally put themselves under huge pressure.

Here are two key reasons I see again and again:

1. Taking too much responsibility for other people’s feelings

Of course, it’s important to be aware of other people’s feelings. But when we’re taught from a young age to be kind and considerate, taken to the extreme, this can turn into feeling responsible for how others feel.

This might show up as avoiding difficult conversations so no one feels hurt. Or taking on extra work so others don’t feel overloaded.

2. Setting extremely high personal standards (the one I’ve struggled with)

When we expect ourselves to be super fit & healthy, highly organised, thriving in our career, living an exciting life, being grounded, and showing up as a great partner, parent and friend… it can feel exhausting. 

We all have a limited amount of time and energy. And trying to show up fully in all these areas is like trying to pour ten litres of water into a five-litre jug – something has to overflow.

If any of this resonates, the key is to check what’s driving your behaviour.

Being considerate can easily slip into people-pleasing. Having high standards can turn into perfectionism – where our self-worth becomes tied to performance.

So we have to get clear on what we’re truly optimising for. 

Balance isn’t a luxury. It’s the foundation.

So a simple question to reflect on this week: 

Where might you be taking on more than is really yours to carry?