Rethink your 'shoulds'

99-SECOND READ

'If something is important enough, even if the odds are the odds are against you, you should still do it.'

Elon Musk

Last week I talked about the ‘shoulds’ that rule your life. I explained how this means CONSCIOUSLY questioning why you do things and deciding whether they serve you. 

One key point I didn’t make was: 

If you do something not because you believe you should do it, but because you have CHOSEN to, you will enjoy it more and get more from it. 

EXAMPLE

You notice the thought: I should go to the gym tonight. 

Then you consciously think: I could go to the gym tonight. How would it serve me and align with my goals? 

Then, you are free to decide.

Maybe you are feeling tired, run-down or have other priorities that day so you don’t go. 

Or maybe you realise you WANT to go. 

Doing something because you WANT to, is very different from thinking you SHOULD do. Whether it’s replying to a friend on WhatsApp, working an hour late or going to visit your grandmother. 

Once you let go of the should’s and shouldn’t you impose on yourself you will be free to live a life that aligns with you and you will enjoy it more. 

To embolden you, here are some examples of things I choose to do that contradict popular shoulds or shouldn't:

- I don't own a TV
- I don't own a house
- I don't watch the news
- I don't set an alarm
- I don't go to the gym
- I do find the easiest ways to do things
- I do play sports and exercise during the day
- I do take afternoon naps and have throughout my career

Everything in the list above serves me in multiple ways. 

Let me break one down for you. The belief I should go to the gym may seem positive, but maybe you don’t like the gym. Maybe like me, you find it a sterile environment, and lifting weights or running on treadmills doesn’t excite or stimulate you… 

So, here’s where the question comes in: What would serve me best? 

In my case, it’s playing lots of sports, hiking, outdoor swimming, taking the stairs, getting about on a bicycle (when it’s dry), and using the outdoor workout area in the park. This keeps me fit, healthy and happy.

I know lots of people who love the gym – great for them! But many force themselves to go because they believe they SHOULD. Going to the gym is what healthy people do. Because of this, they never enjoy it or look forward to it, and they go less. 

As I said last week - the older I get and the more I study life and happiness and psychology, the less I impose should and shouldn't on myself.

The freer I am. The happier I am. The more successful I become. 

You can spend years learning to do this or you can transform your beliefs in less than 3 months - the choice is yours ;)

Subscribe to Work-Life Harmony Wednesdays  to receive a free weekly email that will help you live a more healthy, balanced and fulfilling life.