Live a balanced life; make more time for the things that matter | Feel Happier, Healthier and more Fulfilled

Don't be a husk

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 12:00:09 GMT

Don't be a husk

99-SECOND READ

'We fail to enjoy the sacred moment, when we overwork.'

Lailah Gifty Akita.

Ever feel like you’re just a shell of yourself by the time you get home from work? You’re not alone!

As my client said a few weeks ago: I don’t want to be a husk when I get home - my wife doesn’t want a husk. Nobody does!

Avoid the Husk Zone

It’s easy to get caught striving to meet every demand and saying “yes” to everything at work. You constantly push yourself to the limit. You end up drained, stressed, and unavailable. Your colleagues might be thrilled, but here’s the kicker: when you overwork, you risk turning into a husk by the time you’re with your loved ones. And let's face it, no one wants a husk for a partner or parent!

Remember, it's not about pleasing everyone at work. It's about balancing your professional aspirations with your personal life.

Your Family Wants the Vibrant, Happy, Healthy Version of YOU.

Sure, we all want to succeed and provide for our families. But if you think endless work hours are what your family needs, think again. They’d prefer a happy, present version of you over a burnt-out husk any day! Believe it or not, achieving your professional goals and a healthy income doesn’t require sacrificing your well-being or family time.

Final Thought

It’s all about balance. By taking care of yourself and managing your workload, you can be the best version of yourself at work and home. Your family will thank you, and you’ll feel more fresh, focused, and fulfilled and perform better in both areas.

This week, after a couple of months of coaching, my client said:

"Really simple adaptations over a short timeframe have made for huge improvements for me and my family.

Small changes mean I no longer feel like a husk when I get home from work, meaning I can contribute positively to the home environment.

Small steps-big leaps."

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Work-life Balance: Quality over Quantity

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 11:46:30 GMT

Work-life Balance; Quality over Quantity

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'The key is not to prioritise what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.'

Steven Covey.

When working to improve work-life balance, it's crucial to remember that it's not just about the amount of time we allocate to different activities, but the quality of that time.

Here’s why focusing on quality can make a significant difference in your overall well-being and fulfilment.

Reducing Stress - Quality downtime allows us to truly disconnect from work and engage in activities that rejuvenate us. Whether it’s spending uninterrupted time with loved ones, pursuing a hobby, or simply reading or walking, these high-quality activities help reduce stress more effectively than scrolling on social media, drinking, or watching TV.

Feeling More Present - When we focus on the quality of our interactions and activities, we become more present. Being fully engaged in the moment enhances our experiences and relationships. It's not about the number of hours you spend with your family or friends, but how engaged and attentive you are during that time. This presence leads to deeper connections and a more meaningful life.

Improving Overall Quality of Life - Prioritising quality over quantity in all areas of life helps us avoid burnout. High-quality activities that align with our values and passions lead to greater satisfaction and happiness. By choosing to spend our time on what truly matters, we enrich our lives and foster a sense of purpose and contentment.

Turning Talk into Action

Talking about these changes is easy, but implementing them can be challenging. Underlying personality traits and tendencies often drive us to overwork and neglect the quality aspects of our lives. This is where coaching can make a significant difference. A coach will help you identify these tendencies and develop strategies to overcome them, ensuring you can make lasting changes.

Practical Tips for Enhancing Quality in Work & Personal Life

1.Set Boundaries: Clearly define work and personal time. When at work, focus fully on your tasks. When off work, disconnect entirely to engage in personal activities.

2.Prioritise Meaningful Activities: Identify activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Dedicate uninterrupted time to these pursuits.

3.Practice Mindfulness: Be fully present in whatever you do. This enhances the quality of your experiences and reduces stress.

4.Limit Multitasking: Focus on one task at a time. This will make you more present with the task at hand, and increase your efficiency and the quality of your output.

Stay tuned for more insights and practical tips in my upcoming newsletters.

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Put happiness first

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 14:16:57 GMT

Put happiness first

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'Putting yourself first is not selfish. Quite the opposite. You must put your happiness and health first before you can be of help to anyone else.'

Simon Sinek.

Are you focusing more on being happy every day or achieving your goals?

New Behaviour

Focus on being happy and enjoying every day, every moment.

Benefits

You will show up as your best self
You will make the people that you love happier
You will achieve greater success

Necessary Mindset

Remind yourself:

If I prioritise happiness, success will follow
There's no point in being successful unless I'm happy
Instead of using success as a key to happiness, I can use happiness as a key to success

Supporting Actions

Do things you love every day
Practice mindfulness so you can be present in the moment to find beauty in the little things
Practice gratitude (you could write down five things you're for every morning, as I do)
Prioritise enjoying what you do and doing what you enjoy at work and in your personal life

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Intentional Communication

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 14:07:34 GMT

Intentional communication

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'Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.'

Jim Rohn.

How often do you stop what you're doing, pick up your phone for a specific reason, only to see a message, respond to it, and respond to other messages, put your phone down again, turn back to your computer, and realise you never did that thing you were going to do on your phone?

Whenever things like this happen, it costs time, energy and impact.

New Behaviour

Be focused and intentional with your work and communication.

Benefits

Save time and energy working more efficiently
Find focus and flow state
Feel in more in control of your time and workload

Necessary Mindset

Realise these behaviours are a choice, and remind yourself:

The more replies I send, the more messages I generate
It's not rude to prioritise other tasks or communication
Only some messages need responding to urgently
The more focused I can be, the more I will achieve

Supporting Actions

Practice focused, intentional work:

Lock down your notifications - minimise pop-up messages
Create dedicated chunks of time to respond to messages
Brief your team and colleagues: if they need answers urgently, they can tell you, if not, you'll respond when you can
Make quick lists of messages to send, then dedicate time to sending them all together

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Elevate your morning

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 14:00:43 GMT

Elevate your morning

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'Take excellent care of the front end of your day, and the rest of your day will pretty much take care of itself. Own your morning. Elevate your life.'

Robin Sharma.

Current Reality

It's too easy to start your day by snoozing your alarm, rushing, launching into the day, and tackling work and responsibilities immediately. Or reacting to emails, social media, or notifications from the moment you wake up.

New Behaviour

Consciously start your day with something for YOU

Benefits

It will be easier to get out of bed - because you will want to.

It's good for your self-esteem - by prioritising yourself, you are signalling that you deserve prioritising.

You will start the day in a better mood, and your day will go better.

Necessary Mindset

By consciously starting my day with something for me, I set myself up for happiness and success.

By making time for myself and improving my mood, I positively impact the people closest to me.

Supporting Actions

Consider what would benefit you: exercise, yoga or stretching, meditation, reading, a short walk, spending time with a child or pet, journaling, or a self-care routine.

Set your intention the night before

Set a reminder in the morning

Reflect at the end of each week on how it benefited you to build the habit

Adapt to suit your needs.

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Sleep Early

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 13:54:21 GMT

Sleep Early

99-SECOND READ

'A well spent day brings happy sleep.'

Leonardo de Vinci.

I've shared lots of ideas over the past 15 months to empower you to live a more healthy, balanced and fulfilling life.

From now on, I will be more targeted. More concise. More action-oriented. It will give you less to think about and more to apply.

I will use the layout below to target one new behaviour each week, highlighting the benefits and mindset and supporting actions to help you achieve it.

New Behaviour

Go to sleep earlier - you may sound boring, but it can be exciting, and it will positively impact your life, as it has for many of my clients.

Benefits to you

Get more pre-midnight sleep - wake up feeling more fresh and energised

Start your day more positively

Experience less junk food cravings, feel healthier

Perform better, achieve more in your day

Feel more motivated to exercise

Enjoy your evening more

Sleep better

Necessary Mindsets

When I stay up late, I tend to use my time in unfulfilling ways, avoiding the following day and perpetuating an unhealthy cycle.

Going to bed earlier helps me be more healthy, happy, and productive. It allows me to perform my best and use my time in fulfilling ways.

Supporting Actions

Make yourself accountable and get your partner on board - tell whoever you live with when you will start going to bed.

Stay off your phone at least an hour before bed

Try reading a book

Try having a conversation and being present with your partner

Turn down the lights and set the mood for sleep

Remind yourself every evening why this is important

Enjoy!

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Supercharge your day

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 13:19:12 GMT

Supercharge your day

99-SECOND READ

'Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.'

Buddha.

In daily life, it's easy to get caught up working very hard towards immediate goals — the next holiday, house, pay rise, or promotion. While these are important, relying solely on them as your driving force may leave you feeling unfulfilled in the long run. Even exciting goals like running a marathon, learning a language, or starting a business, while admirable, lack a more profound, guiding purpose if not anchored in something more significant.

Without a mission, you will encounter the following problems:

When life is going well, you won't feel fulfilled. Success, as defined by external achievements, may bring temporary joy, but that joy may be empty and unrewarding without a mission.
When life is hard, you will struggle to think beyond your challenges. The absence of a higher purpose may make it difficult to see beyond the immediate difficulties, leading to a sense of hopelessness.

A mission means thinking bigger — more purpose, more vision, more perspective.

So, take a moment to reflect: What is your mission?

Consider the profound impact you want to have in the world. Beyond personal success, how can your actions contribute to a positive change on a larger scale? What legacy do you want to leave? A mission-driven life transcends individual accomplishments, focusing on the lasting impact you can make on the world and the lives of those around you.

Imagine your mission as a guiding compass, providing direction in the face of challenges and propelling you forward during times of ease.

It becomes the driving force behind your decisions, influencing both your personal and professional endeavours. By aligning your goals with your mission, you create a sense of purpose that permeates every aspect of your life, fostering resilience, motivation, and a profound sense of fulfilment.

Align your goals with your mission, and you'll discover a more prosperous, meaningful journey toward a successful and purpose-driven life.

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Define your mission.

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 13:11:51 GMT

Define your mission.

99-SECOND READ

'Begin with the end in mind.'

Steven Tovey.

Without a mission, you will encounter the following problems:

When life is going well, you won't feel fulfilled. Success, as defined by external achievements, may bring temporary joy, but that joy may be empty and unrewarding without a mission.
When life is hard, you will struggle to think beyond your challenges. The absence of a higher purpose may make it difficult to see beyond the immediate difficulties, leading to a sense of hopelessness.

A mission means thinking bigger — more purpose, more vision, more perspective.

So, take a moment to reflect: What is your mission?

Imagine your mission as a guiding compass, providing direction in the face of challenges and propelling you forward during times of ease.

Align your goals with your mission, and you'll discover a more prosperous, meaningful journey toward a successful and purpose-driven life.

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Cherishing the Present Moment

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 13:06:49 GMT

Cherishing the Present Moment

99-SECOND READ

'Be happy in the moment, that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.'

Mother Teresa.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Let's reflect on the most precious gift we can give our partners – the gift of being present.

In a world filled with constant hustle and bustle, taking the time to be fully present with our loved ones becomes a priceless gesture.

90% of my clients tell me when we being coaching that they want to feel more present with themselves, their partners and their families.

Today, let's focus on creating moments that are not just shared but truly experienced.

Here are three ideas for you.

�� Unplug for Love

Step away from the screens and immerse yourselves in the beauty of each other's company. Turn off the notifications, silence the phones, and savour the joy of a genuine, uninterrupted conversation.

�� Heartfelt Conversations

Engage in conversations that go beyond the routine. Share your dreams, hopes, and fears. Make exciting future plans to spend meaningful time together. Be attentive to spoken words, and let your partner feel seen and heard. It's these moments of genuine connection that make your connection unique.

�� Present Presence

Remember, the most meaningful gifts are not always wrapped in glittering paper. Your undivided attention, smiles, and shared laughter are more rare and valuable than anything you can buy them. Give the gift of your presence, and watch your relationship flourish.

Have a great evening.

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Challenge your beliefs

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 14:34:38 GMT

Challenge your beliefs.

99-SECOND READ

You don't get what you want in life. You get what you expect.

From the moment we're born we begin to form beliefs about life, the world and the way it works. These beliefs are informed by what we see here and experience. They come from the people around us, the events we experience, and how other people react to them.

As those things come down to chance, the beliefs we form about the world also come down to chance.

This belief system can be referred to as our 'model of the world'.

Our model of the world has a huge impact on the way we live our lives.

Therefore, the way we approach life comes down to chance. In some ways, it's decided for us.

Here are some examples of views that you may hold about the world, consciously or not:

Money is hard to come by
Building a business is hard
Marriage doesn’t work
Success requires hard work and sacrifice
Loving my job is unrealistic
Having children is stressful

Some of these examples may resonate with you, you may even believe that some of them are facts. They are not - they are ideas and perspectives. But it's important to understand that they dictate your behaviour.

Most of the challenges in your life come down to your beliefs. They impact you in two ways:

You unconsciously behave in ways that make your beliefs a reality
You interpret your reality in such a way that it represents your belief

EXAMPLE

Person A grows up with parents who 'came from nothing', they worked hard to forge successful careers, climb the ladder, and achieve wealth. So, they form the belief that: success requires hard work and sacrifice.

They find themselves working very hard and sacrificing a lot to become successful. They feel sure that their sacrifice was the only way for them to become successful and every time they consider a different approach, they see reasons why they can't. So, they keep sacrificing to maintain the success that they have built. A self-reinforcing cycle is created.

Person B grows up with parents who in their ways, 'caught a break' early in life - one followed their artistic passion and reached the top of their field, the other made some smart investments which paid big. So, they form some beliefs about success, such as success is straightforward, or there are many paths to success, or follow your passions and your instincts and the money will come.

So, Person B follows this method, they look for evidence that it's working and they keep trying it until it provides the results they want.

We all see and create evidence to support the ideas that we believe to be true.

(We get what we expect).

Person A and Person B both create success, but they both have very different lives.

Person A works very hard, sacrificing their personal needs and other areas of their life. Person B has a more harmonious, balanced life - taking time of and allowing themselves to live, alongside their success.

I picked one example to work through. But there are thousands of beliefs dictating the way your life.

If you want to change your beliefs, consciously question them. Analyse them. Dismantle them, re-frame them, and reconstruct them until they serve you better.

The examples I used can be true - you will have proof and evidence for them. That doesn’t mean they have to be.

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A recipe for success - input vs output

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 14:27:53 GMT

A recipe for success - input vs output.

99-SECOND READ

'Once you are clear with the process of input-output and its consequence, you become more careful with every choice and decisions with your life.'

Roshan Sharma.

In the professional world, we are measured and valued by our impact, results or contribution. I'll call this output.

Whether you're employed on a salary, or by the hour or you run your own business, it's important to remember that your output is what counts, not the hours you put in.

Output pays. Input doesn’t.

It's easy to lose sight of this, but important not to.

If you forget that your output is what really matters, you can fall into the trap of spending time and energy on low-impact activities. In this case, although your input may be high, your output may not be.

Input and output don’t always correlate.

More work doesn’t always equal better results.

When you spend more time on tasks, projects and actions than you need to, your input might go up, but your output stays the same, or goes down…

Employed? You won't get a pay rise, a well done or a promotion because of the hours you put in.

Self-employed? Your business won't grow because of the hours you put in.

Your results are what count.

You can create and exist in 4 worlds:

1. Low-input, low-output

2. High-input, low-output

3. High-input, high-output

4. Low-input, high-output

Ask yourself, Simon:

In my work or business, which one of these states am I operating in?

Which of these modes would serve me best?

If you feel you're struggling to get the results you want, that's a clue.

Most people I help are in mode 3. They are achieving lots, but their input is high, very high, so they are burning out. If you are achieving results through this method, it's draining. You cannot perform at your peak. You don’t have enough time to rest, recover and re-energise, physically, mentally or spiritually.

Over the years, I have always operated in the last two modes. But I learned:

More sales calls didn’t always equal more sales

More planning didn’t always equal more successful projects

Longer newsletters didn’t always equal more engagement

These days, I only use the low-input, high-output approach.

Some ideas to help you tap into low-input, high-output thinking:

Test and learn.

Adapt.

Question your methods, try new ones.

Work smart.

Prioritise ruthlessly.

Choose works well over feels good.

Abandon perfect, choose effective.

Ask yourself: what's the minimum input needed to achieve the outcome I want?

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Self-compassion

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 14:17:42 GMT

Self-compassion

99-SECOND READ

'You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.'

Sophia Bush.

Self-compassion is a secret weapon.

This is what it means:

Not judging yourself.

Treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, especially in moments of difficulty or when reflecting on your life so far.

Acknowledging your own humanity, being mindful of your emotions, and offering yourself the same warmth and support you would extend to a friend.

Accepting your imperfections, inadequacies and limitations.

Choosing to focus on the fact that you've tried your best, choosing to see the good in yourself

This is how it will benefit you:

Enhanced Well-being : By treating ourselves with kindness, we create a more positive emotional environment. Self-compassion allows us to navigate challenges with resilience and positivity, reducing feelings of anxiety and overwhelm.

Greater Self-Esteem : Embracing self-compassion can lead to increased overall mental well-being. It helps break the cycle of self-criticism, creating a more optimistic and empowered mindset.

Increased Resilience : Life is full of ups and downs, and self-compassion provides a sturdy foundation for navigating setbacks. It encourages us to see them as lessons or experienced rather than failures.

Better Relationships : When we treat ourselves with kindness, we are better equipped to extend that compassion to others. This creates a ripple effect, fostering healthier and more positive connections with those around us.

Boosted Motivation and Productivity : Contrary to the belief that self-compassion promotes complacency, it actually fuels motivation. By acknowledging our imperfections without harsh judgment, we become more motivated to pursue our goals. We believe that we deserve to achieve them!

How to Cultivate Self-Compassion

Be aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Mindfulness allows you to observe your experiences with a sense of curiosity and openness.
Remember that everyone faces challenges and makes mistakes. Recognizing our shared humanity helps us feel less isolated in our struggles.
Treat yourself as you would treat a friend. Offer words of encouragement and understanding, particularly in moments of difficulty.
Embrace the idea that perfection is unattainable. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on progress and learning from each experience.

Remember, you deserve the same compassion you readily offer to others. Take a moment this evening to consider the things you like and love about yourself. If you find it difficult to do this, that's a sign that you might want to practice self-compassion more often.

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How to start your day right.

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 14:58:55 GMT

How to start your day right.

99-SECOND READ

'With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.'

Eleanor Roosevelt.

Do you also remember what it was like to start your day without looking at a screen, social media, checking the news, weather or responding to WhatsApp, slack, teams or emails?

Recently I thought back to 2007 when I was 18. I woke up to a radio alarm clock.

I owned a Sony Erickson Phone, which was cool because it had a joystick and a colour screen. That device could only notify me of a phone call or a text message.

I was reflecting on how clear-headed I used to feel, and how good it was to start the day reflecting, thinking, planning, and feeling present with myself or engaging with people around me. I decided it seemed better than the 2023 norm of waking up to my Samsung Galaxy S20, which (even in do-not-disturb mode, with notifications turned off) pulls me in from the moment I wake up. Whether I want to check the weather or glance at my calendar, it immediately directs my thoughts, feelings and focus for the morning.

So a couple of weeks before Christmas, I began this simple experiment.

Before bed, I put my phone in flight mode and left it on my desk. I kept my Kindle Fire next to the bed, which has no form of communication or notifications but does contain books, music and an alarm clock. Every morning I would complete my morning routine before touching my phone. Routine: brush teeth, meditate, 20-minute stretch, journal and a gratitude exercise with coffeeee.

After one month of doing this, I can tell you that the results have been subtle yet profound. My day begins more intentionally, I feel more clear-headed and focused. I feel less drawn to my phone and find myself more able to detach from it throughout the day. I don't miss any of the media that would usually distract me. For the last two weeks, I've often been in the pool at 6 a.m. for a swim, in that case, I don't check my phone until after I get back and sit down at my desk, I don't feel the need to. My day starts better, there's no doubt. And when your day starts better, it goes better, there's no doubt about that either.

Do I feel like I did in 2007? No, I feel much older!! But I have recaptured some of the mental freedom. This is no longer an experiment, it's my new routine.

Living consciously means being proactive, it means thinking about what you're doing and why you're doing it and deciding what you want to prioritise and how you want to live. When your smartphone directs your thoughts from the moment you wake up; you are being reactive, not proactive.

I want to invite you to try it too because it will benefit you. Because it will remind you of the importance of uninterrupted thought. Because you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Need an alarm clock? Use an old phone or another device such as an Amazon Echo/Kindle or a watch.

Enjoy. And feel free to share your results.

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The Limitless Pill.

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 14:24:35 GMT

The Limitless Pill.

99-SECOND READ

'The more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.'

Norman Vincent Peale.

Have you seen the film Limitless?

Sometimes my clients reference it, maybe we all want it on some level, a pill that will unleash our minds' full potential and allow us to have everything we ever wanted.

Well, I've been studying personal development for 15 years now and I've experimented with everything from cold showers to meditation, mantras and motivational videos. In the last few years, through coaching hundreds of people and continuing to try things myself, I could honestly say, I have discovered the closest thing to the limitless pill.

It does not come in a bottle, and you don't need to swallow it. You need to take it consistently.

It's called gratitude.

I've seen gratitude help all kinds of people in the last six months alone. It helped one of my clients feel more confident about himself and reflect more positively on his 30-year career, which empowered him to move forward instead of feeling negative and stuck.

It helped another of my clients feel better about where they are in their life. It allowed them to appreciate all that they have and freed them up from worry, stress, and comparisons. It allowed them to improve their marriage, to work more on their health, and to enjoy spending time with their child more. To feel more joyful and positive. It helped him win awards. It helped him make massive decisions that are having a positive impact on his life.

When you become more grateful for what you have and who you are, you become happier.

When you become happier you become more positive.

When you become more positive you see more opportunities, and you get better results.

When you see more opportunities and you get better results, life becomes easier and more joyful.

When life becomes easier and more joyful, you become happier and more grateful…

You can take the gratitude pill every day, and you can take it in a way that suits you.

All you need to do is consciously bring your attention to the things in your life and the things about yourself that you are grateful for.

How do I do it?

Every morning I journal, and every morning I write down:

I am grateful for:

And then throughout the day, no matter what happens whether it's going well or it's not going well (often this is out of my control) I remind myself of the things I'm grateful for, in general or in that moment.

I'm going to leave you with a list of things that I have recently said that I'm grateful for. I hope that some of them resonate with you and make you realise how much you may be overlooking.

I am grateful for…

This hot cup of coffee

My incredible fiancé

This warm house

Having a curious mind

My loving parents

My amazing sister

All the adventures I had

Having a business, I love

Having a body that works

Being able to see the funny side of things

The struggles I overcame

The close friendships I have

My car - the freedom it gives me

The people I get to help today

The swim I had this morning

Being able to swim

Having a fridge full of food

The opportunity to work towards my goals

I could go on forever…

You can start taking this immediately and your life will change very quickly.

The best bit? It's free.

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Reverse this cycle, change your life.

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 13:52:03 GMT

Reverse this cycle, change your life.

99-SECOND READ

'Be prepared to ride the cycles and trends of life; success is never permanent, and failure is never final.'

Brian Tracy

Life is full of self-reinforcing cycles - they can be negative or positive.

One cycle can cause stress, frustration and burnout or facilitate good health, positivity and happiness. The negative version looks something like this:

Go to bed late

Wake up feeling tired

Start your day on the back foot, with little or no time for yourself

Spend your day rushing, not as fully organised, more easily distracted, more likely to procrastinate or scroll social media, performing well below your best

Eat badly, snack, don't exercise much, don't feel very energised

Work feels harder and your day seems more stressful

Finish work late

Eat late

Spend your evening in unfulfilling ways - use TV, media or alcohol to switch off

Don't feel present with yourself or your partner

Wind down late

Go to bed late

Repeat.

In summary, when we consistently go to bed late, we don't get enough of the sleep we need - particularly the pre-midnight sleep (for more info read or listen to the incredible book Why We Sleep ). This impacts our mood, performance, food cravings, decision-making, and energy levels.

So many of my clients worked with me in 2023 to break this pattern, to reverse and to start a new one. We devised specific solutions that worked for them; the results were incredible. The positive cycles they created looked something like this:

Go to bed on time - usually by 10 pm

Wake up earlier, feeling fresher

Start the day calmly, consciously - with activities like stretching, a cup of tea on the sofa, journaling, a short walk, an exercise routine, meditation, quality time with their child.

Start work on time, feeling calm, organised and focused

Run the day smoothly, eating consciously, taking short breaks, making time for exercise

Finish work on time, feeling satisfied and able to switch off

Eat on time

Spend your evening in healthy or fulfilling ways

Feel present alone or with their partner

Wind down early

Go to bed early…

Repeat.

Early birds don't just catch the worm - they sing louder, fly higher and live longer more joyful lives.

Saying all this is one thing, doing it is another. Give it a go, if you struggle, don't worry, it's quite straightforward when you go through the coaching process.

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'Winning' at Tennis & Life

Fri, 16 Aug 2024 13:41:29 GMT

'Winning' in Life (& Tennis)

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Lessons from Tennis and Life

In both tennis and life, it's easy to become obsessed with the scoreboard. The pursuit of victory can drive us to push harder, strive more, and force outcomes. But what if the secret to true success isn't in the wins themselves but in how much we enjoy playing the game?

Winning is exhilarating—it's what many of us strive for, whether on the tennis court or in our personal and professional lives. But the drive to win can become a double-edged sword. I've coached many people who, by all external measures, have 'won it all.' They've climbed the corporate ladder, built successful businesses, achieved financial success, and ticked off their life goals. Yet, beneath these victories, many still feel stressed, frustrated, and unfulfilled.

Similarly, after 25 years of playing tennis, I've seen countless players tense up, curse themselves, and become visibly frustrated during matches. They're so focused on winning that they forget to enjoy the sport they love.

Here's the crucial insight we often overlook: the real victory lies not in the final score but in the joy of playing. This applies equally to tennis and life. When we shift our focus from the outcome to the experience, something magical happens—we start to feel more satisfied and fulfilled, and paradoxically, we perform better.

Three Transformative Mindsets for the Court and Life

To help you embrace this approach, here are three powerful mindset shifts that can transform not only your tennis game but your entire outlook on life:

1. Celebrate Small Wins, Learn from Mistakes

Rather than dwelling on what went wrong, focus on what went right. If you end a decent rally by hitting the ball in the net, take a moment to celebrate every shot you hit in, then gently acknowledge the mistake and reflect on what caused it. The truth is, you hit more good shots than bad ones, or there would be no rally. In life, too, acknowledge your daily victories—no matter how small. Did you manage a difficult conversation at work or stick to your morning routine? Celebrate that. When mistakes happen, whether it's missing a shot or a misstep at work, see them as learning opportunities rather than failures.

2. Visualise Success, Not Failure

Instead of fearing the dreaded double fault, picture your second serve landing exactly where you want it. This mental shift will be transformative. In life, rather than fixating on what could go wrong—whether it's a presentation, a job interview, or a personal goal—visualise a successful outcome. Humans are drawn towards what we focus on, so when you think about the mistakes you want to avoid, you create them, and when you focus on what you want to happen, you are far more likely to achieve it.

3. Embrace the Process, Not Just the Prize

Stop trying to win every match and start focusing on playing your best tennis. Try new techniques, work on your weak spots, and, most importantly, have fun. When you enjoy the process, your performance naturally improves.

The same is true in life: stop chasing the next big goal or promotion and start immersing yourself in the work that brings you joy. Pursue your passions, learn new skills, and take risks. Focus on growing, living in line with you values and being the person you want to be. The results will come, but they'll be a by-product of your joy, passion and enthusiasm.

The Real Win: A Life Well-Played

In the end, whether on the tennis court or in life, the real win isn't just in the results—it's in the journey. By focusing on joy, curiosity, and continuous learning, you set yourself up for a life that's not only successful but deeply fulfilling. So, next time you step onto the court or tackle a challenge in life, remember to play the game, not just the score.

The results may surprise you.

How These Mindsets Have Helped Me

Sometimes I get frustrated, sometimes I just want to win, I still hit double faults, and send the ball long often... but far less than I used to. But most importantly, I enjoy myself.

These mindsets took me 15 years to learn and cultivate, they have enabled me to thrive on and off the court. They allowed me to travel the world, navigate challenges and set-backs, follow my passion and purpose, build a thriving business, and run it stress-free. They allowed me to improve my serve, and most importantly my sense of happiness, peace and contentment on and off the court.

Your Happiest Year Yet

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 12:49:43 GMT

Your happiest year yet

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'What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year.'

Vern McLellan

You have a pretty good life. You’ve worked hard for it. You have stability, can afford comforts and luxuries, and have most of what you always wanted for yourself. But you aren't necessarily that happy. There are some niggles and challenges that get in the way. Some fundamental things need to change, maybe only slightly, for you to be much more satisfied with your life!

It is not selfish to want to be happier. It is not arrogant to know that you deserve to be happier. It is not ungrateful to want something better for yourself.

Quite the opposite.

Imagine your friend won £100M on the lottery. Imagine watching them waste their winnings away. Imagine watching them be discontent and even unhappy for the rest of their life despite this piece of incredible luck. How would you feel?

Well, you have won the lottery - the lottery of life. Billions of people will never have the opportunities, comforts or luxuries you have. You are lucky, I am lucky and therefore we must make the most of what we have. Not waste our privileges, but instead capitalise on them.

This perspective gives a much greater context for your quest to improve your life.

In 2024, work towards happiness for you first and foremost, and then for all of the people you love, and then for all the people who aren't as fortunate.

Happiness for you may simply mean feeling calmer, less stressed or more present. It may mean finding a job you actually love, or finding time to do more things for yourself or have more quality time with your partner.

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Set goals that stick

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 12:34:43 GMT

Set goals that stick

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'This one step - choosing a goal and sticking to it - changes everything.'

Scott Reed

How amazing would it be if you could set exciting, meaningful goals for 2024 and achieve them?

We all know that setting goals is important, that’s why bright, ambitious people like you set them in their professional lives, and usually achieve them. Unfortunately, people tend to find it much harder to set and commit to meaningful personal goals.

I spent over 700 hours coaching ambitious people this year - as well as helping my clients, I learned a lot about what works for people.

How to set goals that stick

Build your motivation - get clear on all the reasons why your goals matter. ‘I want to exercise more and lose weight because it’s good for me’ is not enough. That’s not going to get you up on a dark, wet February morning. It’s not going to help you leave the office earlier. It’s not robust enough to keep you motivated despite all the stuff that life throws at you. Give your goal more context, meaning and importance. E.g. I will have more energy, self-confidence, and self-respect, my kids will grow up with a healthy role model, and I will feel less stressed and more calm.

Build your vision – write it down. Describe it in the present tense, in detail - picture yourself having achieved it. Imagine how you will think and feel when it is done. This will make it feel more real and more achievable, and you will feel more connected to it. It will seem more possible and you will be conditioning your unconscious to create that reality.

Build your accountability - tell people you trust about your goals. Share them with people you are wired to uphold your commitments to others. Ask a friend to hold you accountable to your goals, and encourage them to chase you. Make a bet with them, whatever it takes. Report your progress to them weekly. The more people you tell about your goals, the more committed to them you will be.

Build your belief – make a list of all the things you have achieved and overcome to date. Get clear on all the skills, resources and experiences you can draw on to accomplish your goals. Focus on your previous successes, let go of failures and call them lessons. Build your confidence and recognise your progress. Notice every positive action you take towards your goals.

If you focus on building your motivation, vision, accountability and belief, you will be far more likely to keep working on your goals, even if it gets hard, and therefore you are more likely to achieve them.

When you set your goals, consider how you want to feel. Consider that feeling different in a specific way can be a life-changing goal in itself. Feeling more present with your family, or more calm, more peaceful, more in control, and more fulfilled are all incredible goals.

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5 lessons for overworkers

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 14:42:54 GMT

5 lessons for overworkers

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'Do not overwork the mind any more than the body; do everything with moderation.'

Francis Bacon

Here are 5 key insights that my clients had in 2023:

Giving to yourself isn't selfish - it enables you to show up as the best version of yourself for the people you love the most. Give yourself the things you need - a break, exercise, sleep, a downtime to shine brighter, for the people who need you.
You have probably overlooked most of what you have achieved - focusing on your problems, mistakes or failures hammers your self-confidence and happiness. Remind yourself every day what you are good at, what you have done well and what you are grateful for. Before you know it, your self-belief and self-esteem will grow and you won't feel the need to prove yourself so much.
You are working hard so that you can be happy. But, you can have all the happiness you want right now, if you take your foot off the gas and slow down enough to enjoy it. You can have more quality time with the people you love, you can take better care of your health and do more things you love.
You don't owe your employer anything, you aren’t 'lucky' to have that job - you earned it. Stop feeling compelled to give give give to work, and realise that they already get plenty of the most valuable thing you possess - your time! As soon as you truly value yourself and your time, you will command more respect, results and remuneration.
Your job didn’t cause the challenges you face. You create your challenges, and they will follow you wherever you go unless you deal with the real cause. Your challenges come down to the beliefs you have about yourself and the world, these beliefs were formed throughout your life and they inform the decisions you make and the actions you take. Change your beliefs and your challenges will disappear.

Understanding these points is one thing, addressing them is another.

Easy choice's hard life. Hard choices, easy life. - JG

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Are you demotivated? Or lazy?

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 14:35:06 GMT

Are you demotivated? Or lazy?

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'Remember, demotivation is highly contagious.'

Pooja Agnihotri

Nearly everyone struggles with motivation sometimes, but the truth is, that motivation isn't well understood. She’s motivated, I’m demotivated or my partner is lazy are just unhelpful labels.

Understanding it, like everything, is the key to mastering it. Here is what you need to know:

Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation feels personally rewarding or fulfilling - doing something you are passionate about or working towards a cause. Extrinsic is a type of external reward – money, recognition, or thanks.
Short-term vs long-term motivation. Short-term is when you are motivated by immediate desire – feeling cold, hungry or needing rest or comfort. Long-term motivation is working towards a future goal – running a marathon, changing careers, or getting promoted.
Towards vs away from motivation. Towards means moving towards something you want – a more fulfilling life, a pay rise, or a chocolate bar. Away-from means moving away from something you don’t want – a job you hate, being bored or cold.
Conscious vs unconscious. Conscious motivation is rational; things that you know will benefit you - exercising, being more organised, going to bed on time. Unconscious motivation is normally irrational – fear of failure, not being enough, or losing what you have.

Key Points:

1. Unconscious motivation is ALWAYS responsible for your problems and the things you aren’t happy with.

2. People are generally more motivated to move away from bad things than towards good things – that is why more people book calls when I talk about problems rather than goals.

If you are struggling to consistently do the things you want, you need to understand your unconscious motivations. What you're moving away from, what's driving you and why. When you do this, you can build a strong, conscious motivation and let go of the unconscious blockers that are getting in your way. Then you will get the results you want.

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Be ruthless with your time.

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 14:28:03 GMT

Be ruthless with your time.

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'Be ruthless on yourself, do not repeat the same tired methods.'

Robert Greene

A quote from one of my heroes, James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:

"Be ruthless about what you ignore. Time, energy, and resources are so precious. You have to be ferocious about cutting your priorities - more than you realise and certainly more than is comfortable.

You can only deeply commit to a few things. One or two? Maybe three?

Every pretty good, sorta nice, kinda fun thing you abandon is like shedding a weighted vest that lets you move at top speed. You were so busy focusing on how much you could carry that you never realised you could run this fast."

This is golden advice. Imagine how much time, energy, money, and head-space you would reclaim if you just stopped doing so much and prioritised more effectively. How much less stressed would you be?

But knowing it is one thing, doing it is another. You may still end up spreading yourself too thin because:

You think you should - examples: go to the after-work drinks / take the meeting / go into the office
You think someone else thinks you should - examples: take the additional project your boss offered / work later

The underpinning fears: I will miss out, I will look bad, and they will think I am not capable/engaged/motivated.

But although fears may feel real, learning not to listen to them or worry too much about what you think other people think can allow you to ruthlessly prioritise: your values and your agenda.

When you commit to less you will feel more empowered, energised, calm and focused. You will show up as the best version of yourself for the people closest to you. You will also excel professionally - just as my client IB found out. When we first spoke, he was working over 100 hours per week. 6 months later he reduced this by 30% - he had more dinners with his family and got promoted.

Look around at the most successful business owners and CEOs - they spend their lives saying NO to things that do not align with their agenda. They do not do things because they feel they should, they do them only if they align with their goals.

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How to improve your life.

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 14:21:36 GMT

How to improve your life.

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'Investing in yourself is the best investment you can make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of those around you.'

Robin Sharma

Trying to overcome challenges that repeatedly show up in your life on your own can be like trying to fix your car without a mechanic (unless you happen to be one).

I'm referring to things such as long-term stress, constant overworking, rushing or neglecting your self-care.

If your car breaks down, you can't fix it until you know WHY it happened. You can't fix these problems until you know WHY you have them.

That’s where life coaches come in…

Where mechanics understand how cars work, we understand how people work. Where mechanics have wrenches and parts, we have mind tools, solutions and processes.

Mechanics know how to find out why the car broke down; we know how to find out why you have your challenges.

When the mechanic knows what's going on with your car, they can use the right tools to fix it. When you and your coach learn what's going on in your mind, you can use the right process to overcome your challenges.

Example:

Many people find themselves working hard, always rushing, working late, and cramming more into their work or personal life. They read books, they try time management techniques, they try to delegate, set timers, prioritise better, and they download apps. But these things don’t work, because they are only addressing the symptoms, not the cause of the problem.

It's like trying to fix your broken-down car by pushing it.

Through coaching, you will learn the cause of your challenges and then you will gain the right framework to address them. The only way you will understand how this works is to have a Breakthrough Call to learn the cause of your problems and therefore what tools you need to fix them.

Incidentally, when people have a problem with their car, they tend to deal with it much sooner than when they have a problem in their life. We get our cars routinely MOT'd and serviced, imagine what the world would be like if everyone did that with their life…

But, some people do invest in themselves, and of course, their proverbial cars run well and their journey is smoother.

If you want to join those people, it starts with a conversation.

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How to stress less.

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 14:12:08 GMT

How to stress less.

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'You can do anything, but not everything.'

David Allen

Nearly everyone experiences stress; one of the biggest causes is other people.

Two of my clients wanted to discuss how to deal with a difficult colleague in the last week alone. Maybe there's someone you work with who stresses you out. They're usually a lethal combination of unhelpful, difficult, needy, critical, pedantic, opinionated or bad at communicating. Whether it's your boss, team member or a direct report - it makes your life hard work.

There are many ways of dealing with the stress that someone causes you (deep breaths, meditation, venting).

However, my favourite way of dealing with this is to change my attitudes, beliefs, and perspectives towards that person. Here's how it works.

Firstly, realise that most of your stress is created because you take this person's behaviour personally. So, realise that their behaviour is not about you, do not take it personally! This is a choice. Deploy what I call Compassionate Composure. Instead of thinking about that person in a negative way, apply as much empathy as you can.

Remember that all the previously mentioned traits that wind you up result from that person's insecurities and shortfalls. You don't know what they have been through or why they are the way they are. Whatever the reason, it has nothing to do with you and no matter how well you may think they are doing in life, it will be causing them problems. If you feel this way about them, there is a good chance many other people in their lives do. As my client reflected yesterday, "I could view them as their insecure inner child". Doing this creates less energy around the tension.

'When you show deep empathy towards others, their defence energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.' - Steven Covey

Although it may sound hard, and you may strongly resist this idea, it is a secret weapon. You will feel lighter. You will feel less hurt or frustrated and as a result, you'll be able to think more rationally, which will change how you react or behave towards that person. And gradually, over time, the dynamic may change.

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One small step... that can change your life.

Thu, 11 Jan 2024 15:28:17 GMT

One small step... that can change your life.

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'Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.'

Robert Collier

If you make one important change to your behaviour, it can make a huge change to your life.

That's what my client, Peter did. After our second coaching session in my Empower Yourself Programme he sent me this WhatsApp message:

'Hey Simon, thanks again for our session today, really enjoyed it and am really enjoying all the work that we are doing together at the moment, it’s making a real difference and I can feel/see the results already ��

Quick little share with you, after our session today I decided to set myself a challenge of getting 3 things done I had been putting off all week by 5.30 and then jumping on the bike for a spin. Decisive, intentional action brought positive results, and I’m now rolling into the weekend feeling happy with my week and excited for the weekend. This is huge for me, so I wanted to share that with you, it’s a great feeling.

Not expecting any reply here, have a great weekend and looking forward to going again on Monday. All the best ��'

If you feel tired, stressed, bored, unhealthy, unmotivated, or unfulfilled by work or life, it may seem like one big problem that you don't know how to fix or where to start.

But, when you break these feelings down into smaller parts, you will find the root cause. Then you can make one change that will have a HUGE impact on your life.

It could be people pleasing, perfectionism, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, low self-worth, risk adversity, fear of judgement, the need for control - the list goes on…

For Peter it was perfectionism. Using mental tools to overcome this in his mind, and practical tools to create change in his life created significant and rapid results (in a few weeks).

Whatever the root cause of your struggles, when you identify it and take informed actions - creating change is likely to be straightforward, fast, and enjoyable.

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Wisdom. How to cultivate it.

Thu, 11 Jan 2024 15:16:59 GMT

Wisdom. How to cultivate it.

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'The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.'

Socrates

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” ― William Shakespeare.

Accumulating knowledge is useful. But cultivating wisdom is far more powerful.

Knowledge alone is only useful when it is relevant, but wisdom can be applied to any situation. However, wisdom tends to be a bit of a mystery. What is it and where does it come from?

Google says wisdom means having good judgement and experience…

But why are some people wise and others not?

I looked back at my school leavers book recently and saw that a couple of my peers referred to me as 'wise', which could seem ridiculous looking back, as I knew NOTHING about life back then. Yet, I realise now that everything is relative, so maybe I was wise for my age after all. I have been called wise at least a few more times over the years since, and at times I have felt it.

So, if I am (occasionally) wise, why?

I know now, that wisdom comes not just from having lots of experiences, but from seeking to understand them. It comes not from having lots of knowledge, but from learning how to apply it. It comes from learning to find different perspectives. Which is a result of being curious - asking why?

When you become curious, as I have always been, you want to understand how the world and the people in it work.

It is one thing to know that X happened, but to know why, that is something else entirely.

When you become wise, you can avoid conflicts and find incredible solutions that benefit everyone. You are equipped to handle all kinds of challenges that life throws at you. You can apply your experience to all kinds of situations, and you can find perspectives that serve you. You gain a sense of inner confidence and calm that benefits you and the people around you.

If you want to be wise, you need to be curious. You need to be prepared to question your own beliefs and you need to be able to let go of your ego (lower self) and be prepared to be wrong.

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Higher self, Lower self

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 18:34:18 GMT

Higher self, Lower self

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'Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude'

Michelle Obama

Your lower self is greedy, selfish, and short-sighted. It's concerned with power, dominance and image. It's ego-driven, emotional, and animalistic, and it wants to follow the crowd. It's stronger than your higher self.

Your higher self is patient, understanding and selfless. It's concerned with wisdom, kindness and positive impact. It's value-driven, rational, human, and independent. It's weaker than your lower self.

99.93% of the 8.2 billion people on the planet are governed by their lower most of the time.

Our lower self is stronger because it is older. Long before humans developed conscious thought and developed morals and higher values, we had our animal instincts to keep us alive. We needed to be greedy, selfish, and aggressive to survive in what was a violent and dangerous world.

But the world is different now. We are at the top of the food chain and there is very little danger. Now, we are the only ones causing the violence and unhappiness because we are being governed by our lower selves.

I know what you are thinking; where is the good news?!

The good news, as always, my lovely reader, is that you can choose. Yes, you, and I, get to choose which version of ourselves we embrace, nurture, and allow to guide us and go on a lifelong journey to amplify its voice.

This is maybe the simplest way of defining what personal development is, and what it means to grow.

This is the journey I take people on through coaching.

Choosing your higher self will not only create greater peace, contentment, and happiness for you. It will have a halo effect, illuminating the lives of people around you. How do you think your life would improve if you could do this?

Trust me, when I say it's a journey. It's a daily choice, and sometimes a struggle.

It's hard to do on your own, how do you know where to start?

' Man will only become better when you make him see what he is like .'

- Anton Chekhov

If there is a voice within you, that wants to go on this journey, that is the voice of higher, listen to it.

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Your Life is a Marathon

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 18:18:03 GMT

Your Life is a Marathon

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'Slow and steady, wins the race.'

Robert Llyod

If you were going to do a marathon, you would run or walk it, depending on your fitness level. You wouldn’t sprint it.

That may be an obvious statement, but using this as an analogy for life highlights some important points.

You would do a marathon at a pace that allowed you to reach the end in one piece. You would do this because the point of a marathon is to challenge yourself and feel rewarded by the process. You would know that you needed to find a balance between hitting each milestone at a certain time while having enough energy to get to the next one.

You wouldn’t sprint a marathon because you know you would burn out after a couple of hundred meters.

So let's apply this to life. Society may condition us, now more than ever, to sprint towards all our milestones, particularly the externally measurable ones (big income, nice house, marriage, family, professional success), but sprinting towards these milestones, just like a marathon, causes problems.

You give everything, don't pace yourself, and keep burning out. This means you must stop and you cannot even continue at a steady pace. You are exhausted and stressed so while you keep working hard, your performance is never optimal.

You sacrifice your body early on, not keeping enough in the tank to finish in style. By your 30's you've neglected your physical health and well-being, you've made your milestones but you're not in great shape for the next 40+ years

You sprint so fast to each milestone, that you don't enjoy the journey, and you don't take it in. You're so focused on the next one, you feel unhappy because you don't realise how far you've come.

You focus only on the milestones and forget about the other things that are going on around you - the people, the experience, the potential to have fun or learn new things.

You run so fast towards each milestone that you run the wrong way and it's a while before you realise it. You commit too early to a career path or person that won't make you happy long term.

You are so elite that you reach the milestones so quickly and easily, that you wonder what to do next. Like the top athletes, you can become a victim of your success.

In the past I ran so fast that I took wrong turns without even realising it, I didn’t even question if I was going in the right direction.

Consider the pace you're going at, and how it's serving you. Just like a marathon, people need to go at different paces and adjust to the conditions and factors that make their journey unique to them.

Do you really need to reach ALL those milestones so quickly?

How would it benefit you to pace yourself?

If you've been running a bit too fast, know that you can slow down any time.

Like myself, and many of my clients, it’s constant work not to sprint. You need to develop a mindset that allows you to maintain a steady pace that is right for you. And then, you can reach your full potential and enjoy every step of the journey.

That is what I help people do.

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Less is more

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 18:10:47 GMT

Less is more

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'The secret of happiness is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.'

Socrates

Consider the idea this week that less can lead to more, in so many ways.

Right now, my partner and I are living out of our backpacks and chasing the sun across the Balkans. We have less, yet we are experiencing more in so many ways.

So, I am particularly mindful of today's messages:

Focusing on less allows you to achieve more
Wanting less allows you to be more content
Having less allows you to appreciate your things more
Doing less allows you to consider more
Working less allows you to live more
Worrying less allows you to be more at peace
Reading less allows you to absorb more

And so... writing less in this newsletter, will allow you to learn and reflect more.

Consider how choosing less in some areas of your life could benefit you.

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Your early birthday present

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 18:02:24 GMT

Your early birthday present

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'Contentment is the only real wealth.'

Alfred Nobel

On Sunday I turned 35.

I received many thoughtful messages and gifts. But the biggest gift of all, I gave to myself - the feeling of happiness, peace and contentment.

The most lavish or thoughtful gifts and celebrations cannot make you happy. Happiness is something you must give to yourself by creating a certain mindset.

Let me express this mindset in a few different ways to convey it clearly:

It's not what happens to you, it's how you respond to it.
There is no fixed reality, only the reality you choose.
You can't control everything in your life, you can control the meaning you subscribe to everything.

Internalising this mindset over the last 5 years made a huge difference to my life. Reflecting on my 30s so far helps me, and may help put this message into context for you.

30 - I quit my job to travel the world for 14 months with my partner at the time... I learned to slow down and be content with only my belongings that could fit in a backpack. I immersed myself in travel photography, reading, reflecting, and continued learning about myself, human behaviour and cultures.

31 - I returned from travelling, Covid hit - my money ran out and the job opportunities I had lined up disappeared. So, I stayed with my parents and had an amazing summer, I restored a barn with my Dad, trained as a coach, built a sales consultancy website and then took a job.

32 - I moved back to London and then ended my five-year relationship. I worked in a job that didn't fulfil me while I continued practising the art of coaching. I took solo trips to reflect and find peace - I rode my motorbike around Scotland and travelled to Morocco.

33 - I went to Fuerteventura to meet new friends who encouraged me to follow my dreams. I quit my job, moved out of London, stayed with my parents (again) and launched my coaching business. My business took off. I lived in Greece for 2 months and then one month in Dubai to visit my sister.

34 - I moved to Bristol, rented a beautiful apartment, and then met the love of my life. I expanded my company and built a team of coaches. My partner moved in and five months later we bought a one-way ticket to Montenegro to work remotely and travel, chasing the sun through the Balkans.

35 - I'm 3 days in... I woke up this morning, went for a swim, reflected on how beautiful life is and consciously expressed gratitude for all that I have. I'm writing this sitting 4 meters from the Adriatic Sea, watching the sun bounce around the bay of Kotor.

The reality is, that it could all be gone in a moment, that is the nature of life. So, choosing to see the good in all of it and working only on what we can control is all that we can do.

In the past 5 years, I experienced the inevitable highs and lows of life. Due to this mindset, the highs got higher and the lows impacted me less.

It gave me an abundance of peace, confidence, reassurance and calm. It allowed me to take greater risks without feeling scared and to achieve more than I thought possible before.

I don't know everything that will happen next, but I do know that I will do my best to be grateful for what I have, to choose to live according to my values, to see every setback as a lesson and to aim for what is possible, not what is 'realistic'.

I will keep pursuing my purpose; to empower people (you) to live consciously so that they can live healthier, balanced and fulfilling lives.

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Rethink your shoulds

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 16:57:19 GMT

Rethink your 'shoulds'

99-SECOND READ

'If something is important enough, even if the odds are the odds are against you, you should still do it.'

Elon Musk

Last week I talked about the ‘shoulds’ that rule your life. I explained how this means CONSCIOUSLY questioning why you do things and deciding whether they serve you.

One key point I didn’t make was:

If you do something not because you believe you should do it, but because you have CHOSEN to, you will enjoy it more and get more from it.

EXAMPLE

You notice the thought: I should go to the gym tonight.

Then you consciously think: I could go to the gym tonight. How would it serve me and align with my goals?

Then, you are free to decide.

Maybe you are feeling tired, run-down or have other priorities that day so you don’t go.

Or maybe you realise you WANT to go.

Doing something because you WANT to, is very different from thinking you SHOULD do. Whether it’s replying to a friend on WhatsApp, working an hour late or going to visit your grandmother.

Once you let go of the should’s and shouldn’t you impose on yourself you will be free to live a life that aligns with you and you will enjoy it more.

To embolden you, here are some examples of things I choose to do that contradict popular shoulds or shouldn't:

- I don't own a TV
- I don't own a house
- I don't watch the news
- I don't set an alarm
- I don't go to the gym
- I do find the easiest ways to do things
- I do play sports and exercise during the day
- I do take afternoon naps and have throughout my career

Everything in the list above serves me in multiple ways.

Let me break one down for you. The belief I should go to the gym may seem positive, but maybe you don’t like the gym. Maybe like me, you find it a sterile environment, and lifting weights or running on treadmills doesn’t excite or stimulate you…

So, here’s where the question comes in: What would serve me best?

In my case, it’s playing lots of sports, hiking, outdoor swimming, taking the stairs, getting about on a bicycle (when it’s dry), and using the outdoor workout area in the park. This keeps me fit, healthy and happy.

I know lots of people who love the gym – great for them! But many force themselves to go because they believe they SHOULD. Going to the gym is what healthy people do. Because of this, they never enjoy it or look forward to it, and they go less.

As I said last week - the older I get and the more I study life and happiness and psychology, the less I impose should and shouldn't on myself.

The freer I am. The happier I am. The more successful I become.

You can spend years learning to do this or you can transform your beliefs in less than 3 months - the choice is yours ;)

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Abolish the 'shouldnts'

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 16:49:58 GMT

Abolish the 'shouldn'ts'

99-SECOND READ

'When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.'

Roy E. Disney

You make thousands of decisions every day - most of them based on what should and shouldn't. Some of them are infamous:

- I shouldn't overeat chocolate

- I shouldn't go to bed too late

- I should save my money

Every one of these comes with perceived consequences when contradicted ('if's). They are practical consequences or judgments we associate with them

For example: If I do overeat chocolate...

- I will put on weight (practical)

- I won't be healthy (practical)

- I have no self-control (judgement)

- I'm an undisciplined person (judgement)

The should, shouldn't and ifs that drive us are unique. Many of them are less obvious than these examples, they're deeply unconscious and they have a profound effect on the way we live life. Through hundreds of coaching conversations, I get to help people discover, question and change these sneaky little beliefs that creep into their lives. Here are some more subtle examples:

- I should keep working until the job is done

- I should do a perfect job of...

- I should finish reading this book

- I should be able to do this on my own/I shouldn't ask for help

- I should get the highest grade

- I shouldn't receive negative feedback

- I shouldn't ever be disorganised

The associated ifs relate to how we believe people will judge us, how we judge ourselves or how we’ll be unable to achieve our goals if we contradict them.

But here's the thing - these shoulds and shouldn't just make us unhappy, they restrict us, they hold us back, they cause us to feel negatively towards ourselves. And the real kicker: most of the ifs are total codswallop!!

They're purely subjective; based on beliefs we created as a result of our experiences throughout life and how we think the world works.

Letting go of your shoulds and shouldn'ts will set you free. Learning to spot them takes practice, but when you do notice yourself thinking I should or shouldn't do this, replace that thought with this: I could do this, but what would serve me best?

Swap the should for could and consider your options, consciously.

The older I get and the more I study life and happiness and psychology, the less I impose should and shouldn't on myself... next week I’ll share with you how I contradict popular shoulds and shouldn'ts and how this allows me to be happy, successful and free!

Discover the shoulds and shouldn'ts that rule YOUR life and learn how to overcome them...

You can spend 10 years working on these things as I did or you can transform your beliefs in less than 3 months working with me today - the choice is yours ;)

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Unlocking career fulfilment

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 16:24:44 GMT

Unlocking career fulfilment

99-SECOND READ

'The purpose of our lives, is to be happy.'

Dalai Lama XIV

In today's fast-paced world, finding personal fulfilment while achieving a balanced life is a constant pursuit. One crucial aspect that significantly influences our overall well-being is our career.

The Career category in The Life Success Test revealed some intriguing insights into how individuals perceive their professional lives. The Career category results show a diverse range of perceptions regarding people's professional lives.

Very Low: 25% of respondents scored very low in the Career category. This indicates that a significant number of individuals in the sample do not find fulfilment or satisfaction in their current jobs. It may be a wake-up call for those who feel stuck and unfulfilled, prompting them to reflect on potential changes that could lead to a more rewarding career path.

Low: 44% of respondents scored low in the Career category, suggesting that a considerable portion of individuals may feel a lack of fulfilment or passion in their current roles. This highlights the need for introspection and exploration of new opportunities that align better with their interests and values.

Medium: 25% of respondents scored medium in the Career category. While this indicates a moderate level of satisfaction, it also suggests that there is room for improvement. These individuals may benefit from assessing their current roles and seeking ways to increase engagement and personal growth within their careers.

High: Only 6% of respondents scored high in the Career category, indicating a strong sense of fulfilment, passion, and satisfaction in their jobs. These individuals have likely found the perfect balance between their interests, knowledge, skills and found a way to channel them towards a cause they care about.

The results highlight the critical importance of personal fulfilment in our professional lives. It prompts us to consider whether our current jobs align with our passions and provide us with the stimulation and challenges we crave. It's also important to note that the way a person interprets their situation has a huge impact on how they feel. If they choose to focus on what they do like about their job and find ways it can be meaningful for them they can feel much more satisfied without changing anything.

For example - many people experience suffering or stress because of the way they feel towards their colleagues. They are creating this stress themselves rather than choosing a more empowered mindset that allows them to let go and focus on themselves.

Finding fulfilment in our careers is a continuous journey that requires self-reflection, exploration, and sometimes, the courage to make changes. It's essential to identify what truly motivates and inspires us and to seek opportunities that allow us to grow, learn, and make a meaningful impact. It's also important to focus on what we have and how we can find meaning in what we do. Cultivating a positive mindset doesn't mean standing still, it means creating an empowering state of mind that facilitates growth and change.

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How happy are you?

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 16:12:27 GMT

How happy are you?

99-SECOND READ

'The purpose of our lives, is to be happy.'

Dalai Lama XIV

All you ultimately want is for yourself and those you love to be happy, right?

Yet many people fall into the trap of always putting others first, to the detriment of their own health, well-being or personal needs. Or they put their careers first - chasing 'success', while sacrificing happiness - as I discussed last week.

What people often forget is that the happier they are, the happier they make the people they love.

Happiness is a huge subject, one I've studied a for a long time. In nut shell happiness doesn't come from one thing - it doesn't come from short term indulgences, exercise, food, travel, money, good health, spending time loved ones or working towards your purpose in life...

It comes from the right combination of all the things you need!

This combination is different for everyone. But how clear are you on how happy you really are, and what combination of things you need to be happier?

I've been working for months to create a powerful a Powerful 3-Minute Quiz that will generate you a Free Customised Report showing you how happy you really are in four key areas of your life. You will learn why these are important, what they mean to you and what you can do to become happier.

The Life Success Test is will show you that a successful life really means feeling happy and fulfilled in a few key areas. And the good news is that if you are proactive, becoming happier is easier than you think...

Note; the test has been through initial phases of testing and calibration. It will continue to evolve and I would value your feedback to help me make it the most impactful that it can be.

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What are you chasing?

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 16:02:22 GMT

What are you chasing?

99-SECOND READ

'I cant change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.'

Steve Jobs

What are you prioritising - success or happiness?

Many people are prioritising success without realising it. Forgetting that professional success and wealth on their own don't lead to happiness.

It's an easy trap to fall into. Because when we're growing up we're told to work hard so we can get a good job and become successful.

Some people are able to achieve success surprisingly quickly, but in order to get there they have to sacrifice true happiness and fulfilment.

Watch the clip below from the documentary Minimalism to gain more of an understanding of what it means to prioritise happiness and why it's important.

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

- Albert Schweitzer

So consider what you are really chasing and where it will lead you. Many successful people look back on their life and say 'I wish I had been happier', but few happy people look back on their life and say 'I wish I had been more successful', because success is really just a component of happiness.

Next week I am going to share an exciting tool that I have been working on to help you become happier (and more successful).

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Philosophies and Beliefs

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 14:30:18 GMT

Philosophies & Beliefs

99-SECOND READ

'The journey is what brings us happiness, not the destination.'

Dan Millman

I believe the key to living a happy and fulfilling life is spending as much time as possible working towards your passions and purpose while satisfying your values and needs.

My three key values are integrity, growth and kindness. Making sure that I align all my actions and decisions to them ensures that I'm being the man I want to be and living the life I believe in.

In today's world, society leads us to define our success by wealth and professional achievements. But to be truly successful, we have to look at life more holistically. When you make time for your health, meaningful relationships, passions and hobbies, fun and adventure, you will perform better and be more successful than you ever imagined.

Life is happening right now - we get one shot at it, which is why we need to find the courage and determination to prioritise the things that are really important to us and build them into our life.

I have been working for months to create a powerful tool to help you get a clear picture of how well you are doing this. I will share it with you soon, in the meantime, here are some perspectives to consider that have helped me live a successful and balanced life. They will help you too, if you apply them:

Everything’s a matter of perspective; choose the one that benefits you
Rather than criticising others, see what you can learn from them
Practice continuous self-improvement - Kaizen, in Japanese
The harder something is to do, the more you will gain from doing it
Always seek win-win outcomes - benefit yourself and others
Focus on working smarter, not harder

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Do things that scare you

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 14:05:10 GMT

Do things that scare you

99-SECOND READ

'I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.'

Lucille Ball

George Addair, a speaker, businessman, author and philosopher is famous for his quote:

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.”

Addair lived in North America during the 1800s, a time when fortune very much favoured the brave. Unlike today, fear was part of everyday life.

During those times people were constantly working hard in order to survive - to farm the land or earn a living. Or they were pioneering new ventures, moving across continents or fighting for land or security. They had to adapt to volatile political and economic conditions, war, famine and plague.

Not problems that the readers of this newsletter share. The cost of living crisis isn't great, but luckily for us, it isn't life-threatening.

We are fortunate to live at a time and in a place where it's relatively easy to achieve safety, comfort and stability. This may be nice, but it comes at a cost: feeling bored and unfulfilled. There is no external pressure on us to do things that are scary or to face our fears.

But if you want to have an AWESOME, CONTENT or FULFILLING life, or you want to reach your FULL POTENTIAL, you need to do things that scare you.

I've done lots of scary things in my life, from quitting a good job at 30 to travel the world and investing a significant chunk of my savings in my own life and business coach.

In fact - the scarier something is, the more you will gain from doing it. You can watch me making this point on the Purpose People Podcast below.

Here are examples of scary things I empower people to do :

Find Your Why in life and go after it
Move to a more fulfilling industry
Leave a company you've been at for a while
Learn a new craft, skill, sport or hobby
Do that thing you've always wanted to do
Take some extended time of work to travel
Start a business or side-hustle
Invest in your personal growth
Break a bad habit that forms part of your identity

We all usually need support to identify the actions we need to take to make us happier and to find the courage to take them.

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How to Stick to a Routine - The only guide you need to read

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 17:06:14 GMT

How to move more and why you should!

Full Guide: 15-min read

Introduction

Creating a routine and sticking to it can be a challenge, especially for busy people with demanding jobs, responsibilities and goals.

Before we dive into the specifics, let's first define what we mean by a routine and why it's essential. A routine is a set of actions that you consistently perform in a particular order and at a specific time. Establishing a routine provides numerous benefits, including:

Reducing stress: Routines help reduce stress and anxiety by eliminating decision fatigue. You know what to expect, and you don't have to worry about making decisions throughout the day.
Increasing productivity: Routines help increase productivity by streamlining your day and allowing you to focus on specific tasks without distractions.
Promoting good habits: Establishing a routine can help you develop good habits that support your goals, such as exercising regularly or eating a healthy breakfast.

Establishing a routine that supports your goals and well-being and facilitates greater success in all areas of life.

Understanding the Importance of a Routine

A routine can be defined as a set of habits and behaviours that are performed regularly, often on a daily basis. Having a routine can provide structure and predictability to your day, which can help reduce stress and increase productivity. This is especially important for people who often struggle with work-life balance and burnout due to their job, or industry.

Sticking to a routine can also have numerous benefits. It can help you develop good habits, increase your self-discipline, and improve your overall well-being. However, sticking to a routine can be challenging, especially when you are first starting out. This is why it's important to start small and gradually build momentum.

Understanding the Science of Routines

Habits are automatic behaviours that are formed through repetition. The more you perform a behaviour, the more it becomes automatic and ingrained in your brain. This is because habits are formed in the basal ganglia, a part of the brain that is responsible for automating behaviours.

The neuroscience of routines suggests that once a habit is formed, it is difficult to change. This is because habits are deeply ingrained in our brains and can be triggered by environmental cues. For example, if you always brush your teeth before bed, seeing your toothbrush can trigger the habit of brushing your teeth.

How to Build a Routine

Start Small and Build Momentum

When creating a morning routine, it's important to start small and build momentum. This means starting with a routine that is manageable and gradually adding more activities as you become comfortable with your routine. Starting with just one or two activities can help you build momentum and create a sense of accomplishment, which can help motivate you to stick to your routine.

Use Positive Self-Talk

Positive self-talk can be a powerful tool for sticking to your routine. It's important to stay positive and remind yourself of the benefits of sticking to your routine. Avoid negative self-talk and focus on the progress you are making. Instead of saying "I can't do this," say "I am making progress and I can do this."

Eliminate Distractions

Distractions can be a major obstacle to sticking to your routine. Identify distractions that prevent you from sticking to your routine and take steps to eliminate them. For example, if social media is a distraction, turn off notifications during your routine.

Create a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment can be an effective way to stick to your routine. Surround yourself with people who support your routine and encourage you to stick to it. This can be friends, family members, or even online communities.

Visualize Success

Visualizing success can be a powerful motivator. Take some time each day to visualize yourself successfully completing your routine. This can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals.

Take Breaks

It's important to take breaks and recharge your batteries. This can help prevent burnout and motivate you to stick to your routine. Incorporate breaks into your routine and use them as an opportunity to relax and recharge.

Find an Accountability Partner or Coach

An accountability partner or coach can be a valuable resource for sticking to your routine. They can help you stay on track and provide support and encouragement when needed. Consider working with a coach or finding a friend or family member to be your accountability partner.

Reward Yourself

Celebrating your successes, no matter how small, can be an effective way to stay motivated. Reward yourself for sticking to your routine, whether it's with a small treat or a night out with friends.

H2 - Adjust Your Routine as Needed

Creating a routine is a great way to establish structure in your day, but it's important to remember that life can be unpredictable. Unexpected events such as work commitments, family emergencies, or illness can disrupt even the most carefully crafted routine. It's important to be flexible and willing to adjust your routine as needed. Here are a few tips for adjusting your routine:

Be flexible: Be open to changes in your schedule and make adjustments as needed. If you miss a workout or your morning routine is interrupted, don't beat yourself up. Simply adjust your routine for the day and move on.
Make changes gradually: If you need to make significant changes to your routine, do so gradually. This will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed and ensure that you are able to stick to your new routine.
Track your progress: Keep track of your progress and make adjustments as needed. If you notice that a particular aspect of your routine is not working, make changes accordingly.

FAQs

H3 - How long should you stick to a skincare routine?

When it comes to skincare, consistency is key. It's important to stick to a routine for at least 4-6 weeks to see noticeable results. However, the length of time you should stick to your skincare routine can vary depending on your skin type, concerns, and the products you are using. It's always best to consult with a dermatologist or skincare professional to determine the best routine for your skin.

H3 - How to stick to a routine when depressed?

Depression can make it challenging to stick to a routine, but establishing structure in your day can actually be helpful in managing symptoms. Here are a few tips for sticking to a routine when dealing with depression:

Keep your routine simple: When dealing with depression, it's important to keep things simple. Start with a few basic tasks and gradually add more as you feel able.
Use positive self-talk: Depression can lead to negative self-talk, so it's important to stay positive and remind yourself of the benefits of sticking to your routine.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist for support and encouragement.
Be flexible: Remember that it's okay to adjust your routine as needed. If you're having a particularly difficult day, be kind to yourself and make adjustments accordingly.

H3 - How long should you stick to a workout routine?

When starting a new workout routine, it's important to give your body time to adjust. Aim to stick to your routine for at least 4-6 weeks to see noticeable results. However, the length of time you should stick to your workout routine can vary depending on your goals and fitness level. It's always best to consult with a personal trainer or fitness professional to determine the best routine for your needs.

H3 - How to stick to a routine with ADHD?

ADHD can make it challenging to stick to a routine, but there are strategies that can help. Here are a few tips for sticking to a routine with ADHD:

Use visual aids: Visual aids such as calendars, to-do lists, and reminders can be helpful in keeping you on track.
Break tasks into smaller steps: Large tasks can be overwhelming for people with ADHD. Break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps to make them feel less daunting.
Set realistic goals: It's important to set realistic goals that are achievable. Start small and gradually build up to more challenging tasks.
Find an accountability partner: An accountability partner can provide support and encouragement and help keep you on track.

H3 - How to stick to a running routine?

Running can be a great way to establish a routine and improve your overall fitness. Here are a few tips for sticking to a running routine:

Find a buddy: Partnering up with someone will help hold you accountable. Running with a partner will also help you with pacing so you can finish out the mileage you intended to do. For extra motivation, try a local run club.
Make it a routine: Commit to picking a day and time to run. For example, make every Sunday an active recovery day and go for a run.
Be realistic: Training is a marathon, not a sprint. Start off by setting small goals then build.
Keep it fresh: Switch up the route and the run time.
Set a goal: Whether you have a 5k time you want to build up to or a specific race in mind, set a goal. Having your eyes on the finish line will help you stay consistent in your training.

More Romance

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 11:39:48 GMT

More Romance

99-SECOND READ

'Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not come yet. We have only today. Let us begin.'

Mother Teresa

A more balanced and fulfilling life equals a more fulfilling and intimate relationship.

When you improve your work-life balance, you will be able to invest in your romantic relationship.

You will:

Have more time and motivation to do things with your partner
More headspace for thoughtful gestures
Be more present and connected with them
Be more upbeat, positive and energised around them

All of these things build trust and connection, which you don't need me to tell you, and improves romance and intimacy.

When was the last time you left a love note for your partner?

Okay, I'm not saying you have to make a heart out of peanuts with jelly bears inside AND leave a cute note as my amazing girlfriend did the other day (xx).

But... It's important to consistently make an effort.

If you are overly focused on work - whether it be the next promotion, pay rise or goal, office gossip, stress or deadlines - you are under-prioritising the person who matters most. So how can you expect to have an exciting, romantic and intimate relationship?

I challenge you to make more thoughtful and romantic gestures:

Leave a note
Suggest something spontaneous
Surprise them
Cook a nice dinner (especially if you don't usually cook)
Bring them a gift
Offer them a massage
Run them a bath
Do the cleaning

Make the time in space to do these things regularly - don't view them as luxuries but as essential components, of a successful, happy and fulfilling romantic partnership.

If you don't have time or head space for this; you can either accept the impact it's having on your relationship, or you can learn to create more balance in your life enabling you to reignite the romance.

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Risk vs. Regret

Thu, 31 Aug 2023 15:20:27 GMT

Risk vs. Regret

99-SECOND READ

'I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.'

Lucille Ball

I just had lunch with a friend. They're 25 years older than me and they have lots of regrets.

The regret of not doing more with their life - not carving out a career they love, not travelling more and not living somewhere they like.

Regrets are painful, they damage self-esteem and they wear us down. Research shows that 76% of regrets are about things we didn't do - things that would have taken us closer to our ideal selves, our ideal lives.

“In the end…we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.” - Lewis Carroll

People tell me every day that they aren't risk-takers. They are too scared to change careers, to go after a life that they know would make them happier.

They say things like:

What if I don't like it?
What if I'm not good at it?
What if I fail?
What will people think?

I understand these fears, they're normal, I've had them too. But they blind us from the risk of regret. The risk of knowing we didn't even really try to create the life we wanted.

What's the worst-case scenario if you pursue the things you really want? If they don't work out, go back to what you used to do, people may see you fail, and it may cost you some money, some time or energy. All things you can recover from and overcome.

But, what's the worst case (and likely) scenario if you don't? You look back on your life with regrets - when you can't do anything about them, which is why they hurt so much.

So you tell me, what is the biggest risk?

If you think you're not a risk taker - but you aren't going after the things that are important to you, think again.

If you have a change you want to make in your life, but something is holding you back, don't risk regret.

Join the hundreds of people who have opened up to me in the last year, utilising the power of conversation to find the confidence to move forward.

If you want some motivation, watch this compelling video from Prince Ea.

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The Magic Question

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 09:43:19 GMT

The Magic Question

99-SECOND READ

'It is okay to question yourself, but never okay to doubt yourself.'

Jeffrey Fry

In my last blog I highlighted the importance and power of positive self-talk and promised to share a magic question.

The key message was:

If you learn to speak to yourself with the same love and lack of judgement as you do with your friends, you will immediately feel more positive, empowered and confident. You will love yourself more, and you will get better results in all areas of life.

In short: improve your self-talk, improve your life.

In my coaching sessions, people open up about their challenges. They talk about the things they are doing wrong, their lack of motivation, discipline or progress, procrastination and disorganisation. I help them explore this deeply, and when the time is right, I ask them, the following magic question:

If a friend told you everything you've just told me, what would you say to them?

Then, in that moment, their expression changes - sometimes they laugh, or sigh, or cry. Because they realise they haven't given themselves credit for all they've overcome or recognised all that they are doing. They find compassion for themselves, and immediately they feel better, they feel lighter and they believe in themselves again.

This is the work I do. I create warm, sportive spaces for people to explore and shift their perspective - to give them huge mental breakthroughs and clarity that stays with them forever. Hence these quotes....

"It was as though a light switch had been flicked and everything about what I am and do, seemed to make sense again." - Alex

"I honestly felt like something had unlocked within me and I sought out opportunities that were in front of me all along but I never reached for." - Shabari

Whenever you are feeling down or judging yourself, ask yourself this question.

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A Secret Retreat!

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 15:43:43 GMT

A Secret Retreat!

99-SECOND READ

'Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.'

Hermann Hesse

There is a luxury getaway in the Devon countryside...

Whether you go by yourself or with your partner, I want you to prioritise QUALITY time. Switch off, immerse yourself in nature, reconnect, sleep, rest, read, swim, walk, think - gently stimulate your senses and recharge your mind and body.

It is a beautifully restored barn conversion. Complete with a super-king bed, giant bath, infinity shower, vaulted ceilings, underfloor heating, exposed walls, and raised deck with views across Dartmoor. Here's the story of how this special place came about...

At 55 years old David & Georgia decided to pursue a new goal. They had comfort and stability, and a life in the Berkshire countryside that many people would envy. But it wasn't what they really wanted.

So they bought a cottage with a few acres of land and some outbuildings on the top of a hill, just 5 miles from Dartmoor National Park in Devon.

They left their jobs and started a new life.

They expanded on David's hobby - setting up a business selling honey locally and teaching people how to keep bees. Fueled by their passion for the outdoors, craftsmanship and horticulture they worked for the next 4 years to transform the buildings and gardens.

They created an award winning Airbnb - a place for people to come from all over the country to relax and enjoy tranquillity.

Then they began restoring a crumbling 250yo barn. They carefully designed it to preserve the original character and features. They reused, reclaimed and recycled materials from the barn and around Devon.

There were some stressful times and strenuous work. When Brexit inflated the prices of materials, the cost of restoration escalated, but they found ways to keep going. Eventually letting the builders go and finishing it alone. It was hard, but they learned new skills and discovered just how much they were capable of.

I know all this because David & Georgina are my parents, and I'm extremely proud and grateful to them for inspiring me, and everyone who visits Higher Kellacott to follow their passions.

You are never too old or too young to prioritise the life YOU want. Happiness comes from working towards the goals you believe in.

You can view it here.

Give yourself this opportunity to disconnect. You deserve it.

P. S. I'm writing this sitting on The Old Barn decking, looking out across fields where sheep, chickens and geese are grazing, my ears are filled with birdsong and the morning sun is warming my face.

Time slows down here. I highly recommend it.

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From burnout to balance and purpose!

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 15:41:27 GMT

From burnout to balance and purpose!

99-SECOND READ

'Many of us have been running all of lives. Practice stopping.'

Thich Nhat Hanh

If you have ever struggled with overworking, burning out, or feeling guilty for prioritising yourself and your needs, read on... this story will inspire you.

Meet my former client, IB Kamara.

When IB connected with me a year ago, he was often working more than 100 hours per week. He agreed to calls on Friday evenings, and meetings on Sundays. He worked into the early hours of the morning regularly. He was highly stressed, unable to manage his work hours to prioritise spending time with his wife and young children or taking care of his health.

At the time he was a Vice President at Morgan Stanley bank - so long hours came with the role to an extent. But IB was working longer and feeling more stressed than his colleagues, and he didn't know why...

Early on in our coaching programme, IB realised that he was unconsciously trying to prove himself to everyone. So he tried to work harder and give more to constantly earn his place.

Being the only person without a private education in his team and the only man of colour, he had formed the idea that he didn't deserve his place, that he was there to tick a diversity box.

Across several powerful sessions, we explored this belief and found different perspectives. IB quickly realised that just like everyone else, he was there because he was valued. His knowledge, skills, experience, reputation and results had earned him his place. He realised this is where his value comes from!

This new clarity empowered him - he no longer needed to prove himself to anyone!

IB immediately felt empowered to stop giving everything. He managed the expectations of his clients, colleagues and bosses. He stopped working late into the night and taking meetings at the weekend, he stopped taking on every project that was offered to him. He started spending more time with his family, going to the gym more, playing tennis and going on holiday without working. He spoke up more and put his ideas forward more confidently and he empowered and other members of the team.

Then he got promoted to Executive Director.

During our journey, I also helped IB discover and define his purpose: “ To ensure everyone is accepted for their true value so that they have a chance to succeed and prosper.”

IB now chairs a programme to sponsor 10,000 black interns into Morgan Stanley Bank.

THE END.

Whether this story resonated with you or not, there are two clear lessons for everyone:

If you overwork it's because of your beliefs about yourself and the world around you. When you understand these beliefs, and where they come from, you can consciously acknowledge the objective truth and empower yourself to rapidly change your reality.
When you realise your true value, you will be empowered to work less while achieving far more in your personal and professional life. And you'll enjoy life a lot more!

If you want to empower yourself, get in touch with me today.

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How to create a 9/10 life!

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 15:37:39 GMT

How to create a 9/10 life!

99-SECOND READ

'You're never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.'

C.S. Lewis

Here's one important question and one invaluable tool for you!

THE QUESTION

On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your life?

Think about that for a second.

To clarify; life can never be at 10/10, because as soon as we have all the things we want, we desire something else. That's human nature. And it's not a bad thing because working towards goals and overcoming obstacles is a rewarding part of life.

So 9/10 is a realistic target.

A 9/10 life is an incredible place to be - it means waking up feeling calm, energised, grateful and enthusiastic 7 days a week. It means being excited, fulfilled and happy. It means feeling truly empowered and having exciting goals which you are working towards.

How do I know? Because I'm there.

How did I get here?

By going on a journey to understand myself, what's important to me and what I want and need in life.
By working on those things one step at a time.

To save you a lot of time and energy, here is a tool that will get you started...

THE TOOL

It's called a Wheel of Life, below is an example. It will help you see a simple snapshot of the different areas of your life, how satisfied you are in each one and some things you need to do to improve it.

Most people I ask say 7/10. If your answer is any less than 9, why are you waiting to improve it?

You can download the Wheel of Life tool for FREE by clicking here to start improving your life right now.

Wherever you are on the scale one thing that no one can take away from you is your freedom to work towards being more satisfied with your life...

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Improve your self talk, improve your life!

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 14:58:12 GMT

Improve your self talk, improve your life!

99-SECOND READ

'Talk to yourself as you would someone you love .'

Brene Brown

If you want to be feel happier or more content with any area of your life, here's one thing you can start doing today...

First, the anecdote:

The other day I was on the tennis court playing doubles, my partner, was a friendly, polite man about 20 years older than me. From the first point, every time he made a mistake he cursed under his breath, and berated himself - "you idiot", "so stupid!".

When I made mistakes he said nothing, when I played well, he praised me. Then, when it was my turn to serve, he patted me on the shoulder and said: "Now you've loosened up, you can relax and hit it". I served really well, we won the game in 3 minutes.

You see how he spoke so harshly to himself, but so warmly and supportively to me? It changed everything...

I felt good and I performed well. Meanwhile, he became more angry and frustrated and performed worse.

The lesson:

We all tend to judge ourselves more harshly and speak to ourselves less kindly than we do to others.

If you learn you speak to yourself in the same way you speak to your friends, you will immediately feel more positive, empowered and confident, you will love yourself more, and you will get better results.

In short: improve your self-talk, improve your life.

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How much do you like your job?

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 11:08:12 GMT

How much do you like your job?

99-SECOND READ

'Choose a career you love and you will never have to go to work.'

Dennis Waitley

We work roughly 35% of our waking hours - around 80,000 hours during our life.

Yet surveys show that around 1 in 5 Brits love their job...

So if you believe in making the most of your life - by spending your time in ways that align with your values, and your purpose and bring you joy, you'll agree that loving your work is important.

But you can't find a job you love until you know exactly what you really need.

Wizz through this short quiz I built to understand how satisfied you are with your current job in these three key areas: Fulfilment, Enjoyment, Needs & Expectations.

If you can put a big tick next to these three criteria, you will love what you do. But if one is missing you won't be able to feel a deep sense of joy, satisfaction and intrinsic motivation towards your work.

Here's an example to put this into context:

When I was 29 years old I was leading and managing a field sales and customer service team for a brewery. I was paid well, I had good flexibility in my working hours and location. I enjoyed leading and empowering people to learn, develop and grow. So criteria 2 & 3 were ticked. But, I no was not longer passionate about hospitality and had no interest in selling beer any longer - therefore I wasn't really fulfilled - so criteria 1 had a cross next to it. To clarify, I liked my job a lot, but I didn't love it - there is a massive difference.

I quit my job and travelled around the world for 14 months. I continued learning and pursuing my passion for empowering people to grow, then I became a life & career coach.

So you don't have to go on a world trip I've built a short quiz to show you how you currently score in these areas.

You will get personalised results and tips to find a job you love.

Take the Quiz

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7 Ways to work SMARTER!

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 12:12:34 GMT

7 Ways to works SMARTER!

99-SECOND READ

'Don't confuse activity with productivity. Many people are simply busy being busy.'

Robin Sharma

Working smarter allows you to achieve better results in less time. Giving you more time to spend doing things you really want to do!

It means moving away from simply being busy, towards being productive and effective. Cultivating this behaviour is critical to achieving a successful career and a happy, healthy and balanced life.

Working Smart Mindset

Working smart is focusing on working on the right thing, at the right time, in the most effective way possible.

7 Ways To Work Smarter

Manage expectations of colleagues, customers & clients – don’t agree to tight deadlines unless they're essential – reduce your time pressure, creating space to prioritise wisely and focus on what you know is important.
Don’t waste time or energy worrying about things you can’t control – if it’s out of your hands, forget about it. Work only on what you can influence.
Revise your methods, routines and processes – don’t keep doing things the same way just because you always have. Constantly check to see if there’s a more efficient or effective way.
Choose the best communication method – there are so many available these days. Sometimes one short phone call can save a long back and forth on messaging apps. On the other hand – don’t answer the call from that person you know will waste your time. Message them asking them to message you.
Say no to meetings you don’t need to attend – they are a huge time waster. Unless you’re really adding value or gaining value, don’t go. Maybe another attendee can summarise the outputs/actions later?
Work on a smaller number of higher-value activities – doing fifty small deals will take longer, cost more and yield less than doing one huge deal.
Do not multitask – turn off your emails/notifications if you have to, don’t get side-tracked by emails or WhatsApp and don’t jump from task to task, it’s a huge time waster! Do one thing at a time.

Here's one final golden rule for you...

Throughout your day, ask yourself this question:

How much value is this action, thought or behaviour adding to my life?

If the answer is not 'a lot of value' - search for a better way or stop it altogether.

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Find your Tennis!

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 11:44:50 GMT

Find your Tennis!

99-SECOND READ

'All you need is passion. If you have passion for something, you'll create the talent.'

Yanni

On my 7th birthday, I had my first tennis lesson.

For the next 11 years, I played tennis as much as I could. I loved it. It came naturally to me, and the feeling of being on court, and hitting balls was amazing. I loved the rhythm, the movement, the challenge, the sensation of hitting winners, the smell of tennis balls, the sound they made when they hit the racket- thwack! I loved (and hated at times) the challenge of winning a match, and the lessons I learned on court. Although I didn't know it back then, they were invaluable: self-control, resilience, patience, discipline, how to lose and win graciously, how to improve, and how to treat blisters.

Tennis was part of my identity, it fueled me, gave me something to work on and focus on outside of the school curriculum.

When I turned 18, I left school; I got a job, a girlfriend and a social life - and I barely touched a racket for 5 years.

In my mid to late twenties, I had the odd game here and there. And it felt AMAZING to play again, but between work, travels, businesses and other projects, it was never consistent.

But now 34, 27 years after my first lesson, I have made time to play again, properly. I've joined a club and I've thrown myself back into the sport I love. When I'm on court, I'm in FLOW - I think of nothing else - my mind is clear.

Off court, I can hardly stop thinking about tennis, I don't lie awake thinking about business, I think about how to improve my game.

___

It's never too late, or too early in life for you to find something you LOVE, a true passion! If you have found it, prioritise it, if you haven't - keep looking, keep trying new things - follow your instincts.

When you spend time doing something that truly lights you up, it will energise, reinvigorate and revive you. You will meet others who share your passion, you will remember what life is really all about. You will train harder, you will be more motivated. You will get your fizz back.

I help people do more of the things they love, without compromise.

Must dash, I'm on the court in 20-mins.

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Don't wait for breakfast - a short story about life!

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 15:47:09 GMT

Don't wait for breakfast - a short story about life!

99-SECOND READ

'Don't wait for the right opportunity: create it.'

George Bernard Shaw

Recently, I was staying in a hotel in Gran Canaria, I came down for breakfast at 8:15 one morning with my girlfriend to discover a small gathering of people standing silently outside the closed restaurant door.

Three facts you need to be aware of:

The hotel serves breakfast from 8am
We could see people inside the restaurant helping themselves to food
I was hungry

So, I asked the group “Have you tried the door?”

“Yes, several times!!” came the response.

Silence.

Me, “How long have you been waiting here?”

“10 mins”

“Is there another way into the restaurant?” I asked the group.

Someone said, “I think you can go in via the pool.”

My partner and I walked to the pool… 20 seconds later, the group followed.

Within 3 minutes, we were all helping ourselves to breakfast.

Do you see what this anecdote tells us about life?

We can easily fall into the trap of following other people and accepting less-than-ideal situations, even when we can see there is an alternative. Waiting for things to happen or change - not questioning, not challenging, not seeking solutions, even when they are simple, and we can find the answer.

Because I understand group dynamics (and because I was hungry) I chose not to accept this situation. I knew why people weren't talking - I knew that no one wanted to be the one to speak out or look silly. So I didn’t feel embarrassed to look for an alternative and ask some basic questions. I knew that doing this would reward me with a positive outcome, and ultimately benefit the whole group.

If we want to move forward in life, we have to question, we have to use our initiative and be prepared to be different. Just because a staff member had forgotten to unlock the restaurant door, a group of guests accepted waiting hungrily in a corridor for their breakfast. So whether you don't like your job, or any part of your life:

Don’t accept it and simply wait for it to change because you see others doing the same.

The solutions are usually simple and probably staring you right in the face.

Just like my client Shabari:

" I thought it was interesting that I set out talking to Simon with no end-goal to achieve in my mind but achieved so much. I honestly felt like something had unlocked within me and I sought out opportunities that were in front of me all along but I never reached for it. "

Life is precious, you don’t want to spend it waiting in the corridor, do you?

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The art of balance

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 15:32:29 GMT

The art of balance

99-SECOND READ

'If you are too busy with work or other activities, the more you should realise your life is not in balance.'

Brian Pulsifer

Like my clients, you are probably a driven person who wants to make the most of your life. Along the way, your ambition may have caused you to prioritise your professional goals, while focusing less on your health, relationships, passions, hobbies, fun and adventure.

Being so focused on progress and goals, it's easy to forget that without balance in life, we can't reach our full potential.

" Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. "

- Rumi

We need to find a balance between work and rest, challenge and ease, growth and recovery, productivity and fun.

We need to make time for the people that matter to us most, we need to invest in sleep, wellbeing, a good diet, sport, competition, exercise, creative outlets and adventure.

When you create the right balance of these things for you, you will perform better, physically, mentally and emotionally and you will achieve more than you ever imagined.

And of course, remember; why are we alive, if not to enjoy and explore the full range of experiences that life has to offer?

Do you struggle to find balance? There are two ways to go about it, one requires patience, trial and error and time, and the other will happen quickly and it starts with coaching today.

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The key to solving your problems!

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 15:15:10 GMT

The key to solving your problems!

99-SECOND READ

'Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions.'

Tony Robbins

Do you ever feel like this?

I'm unsatisfied/unfulfilled in my job
I can't switch off and relax or get to sleep
I always feel busy/tired/stressed/unhealthy
I'm always working late & missing time with people I love
I don’t have time for my relationships, exercise and hobbies

If so, there is one thing you need to realise; we were all conditioned to live a certain way through our parents and our upbringing.

We were conditioned to do things like:

Overwork
Struggle financially
Fear change
Avoid taking risks

So no matter how hard you try to avoid these things - they will keep returning. You will unconsciously create situations that cause stress or financial pressure to keep yourself stuck in that reality. Your nervous system is literally regulated to be this way.

Why do you think some lottery winners blow it all? Why do some people in happy marriages throw it all away? Why can some people never rest? They are unconsciously trying to remain in the state they were physically and mentally conditioned to be in.

But, if you want to go through a rapid change, you can...

My client, Alex:

"It was as though a light switch had been flicked and everything about what I am and do, seemed to make sense again. Now I'm feeling so confident and focussed on the right things, which has had a huge effect on my family life"

My client, Lucie:

"My life has changed mostly by recognising my self-worth. I know that I am good enough now, I know what makes me happy and that actually spending time on my own or walking in nature is what I like to do. I can finish work on time without feeling guilty. I remembered how much I enjoy writing and being away from the technology and social media"

If you want to change your reality, the only thing you need to do is overcome your conditioning - change your mind.

It's hard to do this on your own, but it's easy to do with the right support. If you want to explore how I can help you overcome your conditioning and change your life, get in touch today.

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Why hobbies are important!

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 15:05:20 GMT

Why hobbies are so important!

99-SECOND READ

'Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.'

Oprah

How much time do you spend doing things you love?

It’s so important to prioritise your passions and hobbies, here are 9 reasons why:

More than just pleasurable activities, hobbies involve learning and developing new skills, they stimulate us emotionally, physically, creatively and intellectually.
Our brains work like a muscle; the more we exercise them, the better they perform. So whether you’re learning a language, knitting, surfing, drawing, dancing or rock climbing, you are learning. This improves cognitive function and your ability to learn other new skills, which benefits other areas of your life.
The natural goal of any hobby is to become better at it. Making improvements and gaining new skills is empowering. It creates a sense of achievement and therefore boosts self-confidence and self-worth.
It’s easy to spend a lot of time absorbing media, and while it can be entertaining, it often adds little real benefit to your life. Hobbies act as an incentive not to waste time on media – something to be excited about, that pulls you away from the screen.
Hobbies help you moderate your work hours and provide a structure or routine throughout your week, that doesn’t revolve around work. You’re more likely to finish work at a reasonable time if you have an evening activity planned that you’re really looking forward to!
Hobbies create and reinforce a sense of identity, which boosts self-confidence.
People who do things they are passionate about tend to be more interesting and engaging, allowing them to connect with, lead and inspire others.
You can meet people with similar interests, ideas or talents through your hobbies. An amazing way to expand your social circle or connect with people from different walks of life.
Many hobbies have an output that benefits others – whether you create beautiful paintings, food, music or play sport. It’s likely to entertain, inspire or simply bring joy to other people.

Are you making enough time for your hobbies?

If you don’t have any hobbies, do you see them as luxuries or an essential part of life? How long have you been under-prioritising them?

If you just don’t you know what you enjoy – try something new this week and keep trying new things until you find that one thing that lights a fire inside you. The journey will be rewarding.

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How to reclaim time

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 14:54:00 GMT

How to reclaim time (for things that matter)

99-SECOND READ

'Time isn't the main thing, its the only thing.'

Miles Davis

Imagine if you could reclaim an hour a day - that's 365 hours - 22 *waking days every year!

In 10 years, you would get back 7 months. Yes, 7 months!!

You could use all the time for anything you want - I'd suggest prioritising these things:

Learning, growing and developing
Quality time with people you love
Investing in your health - food, diet, exercise
Downtime - rest, recharge, think!
Doing things you love - sports, art/creativity, hobbies, travel and experiences.

All that time that you could be using for these things is being stolen from you.

If you want to get it back, it's quite easy, here's how.

The device in your pocket/bag/hand is responsible. Yes, your phone. You are checking it many times a day. You are reading notifications and then getting distracted from what you were doing. You are looking at things on apps - from BBC News to TikTok - that have no relevance to you, that you don't care about, and that unlike the 5 points above, won't improve your life in any way. They waste your time and ruin your productivity.

It's a trap we all fall into. I got fed up with it and found a solution, I've tried it myself and with a number of my clients, with much success.

All you need to do is download and set up (ironically) one more app - here's the link .

This app allows you to lock yourself out of certain apps and kill different notifications at specific times of the day.

If you use strict mode, you won't be able to disable the setting while they're active.

The only reason that our phones are so distracting is because of the automatic nature of how we use them. Our brains seek distractions and use them to procrastinate and avoid things we don't want to do.

AppBlock stops that because it locks you out. And slowly, the automatic urge disappears. Then you will be transported back to life pre-2007 when we didn't carry these highly distracting time thieves in our pockets.

You will remember what it is to be present, undistracted, to notice life around you again and heaven forbid, to daydream.

Download and enjoy that time.

*waking days - we're awake and active for roughly 16 hours per day. So to calculate I divide 365 hours by 16.

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Stop running from the wolves!

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 14:44:58 GMT

Stop running from the wolves!

99-SECOND READ

'Sometimes in your life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you've ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself.'

Katherine Sharp

A lone figure races through the wilderness, their heart pounding in their chest. Running with all their might, their breath deep, fast and gasping. Adrenaline courses through their body, giving them the energy to push through the pain. The wind stings their face, but they press on, running faster, harder.

Imagine this person is you... how do you feel?

Are you smiling, are you feeling excited, elated, full of joy and hope? Or is your face tense, are you scared, isolated, desperate trying to survive?

Well, of course, it depends on why are you running...

Are you running away from a pack of vicious wolves? Can you hear them closing in, their paws crunching behind you, snapping at your heels?

Or,

Are you running towards your loved ones? Can you hear them cheering you on, shouting your name, smiles beaming, arms outstretched - ready to welcome you with hugs, love and laughter?

You see, life is a journey, and we're all running through it; trying to reach our goals and milestones. Some of us are running hard! But our motivation to run determines how we experience it.

You can run from wolves - fears: not being good enough, not having enough, not being loved, admired or respected if you don't achieve your goals. Not having money, not being able to survive or live up to the expectations of yourself or others.

Or,

You can run towards love: finding your purpose, making a difference in the world, contributing, creating beauty, inspiring others, being your best self, growing, serving, giving, and using your gifts!

I coach successful people who have achieved amazing things in their life. But many of them were running from the wolves - their fear of not being enough. This stopped them from being truly happy.

I help them realise they are enough, so their wolves disappear and instead of running away from them, they are able to run towards love!

Then they are able to be happy.

If you think you might be running from wolves, I'm here for you.

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The Time is NOW!

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 09:18:11 GMT

The Time is NOW!

99-SECOND READ

'The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now '

Chinese Proverb

The same rule applies to any change you want to make to yourself or your life!

How good is your life of 10 right now? What would make it better?

Any important change you want to make in your life will scare you to some extent: breaking a habit, changing your career, starting a business, making time for your hobbies, working on your dream, improving your relationship, learning something new, or going somewhere new. All of these things are scary on some level.

The reasons why you say you're not doing what you want, or making the change, aren't true. They are just plausible-sounding justifications.

I don't have enough money
I'm too busy right now
It will be easier when...
I'll do it after I get married/buy the house/sell the car

Nope! They are not the real reasons; Fear is the real reason. It's always easier to wait, to downplay their importance... I put off travelling the world for the whole of my twenties ('I'll do it next year'), not because I couldn't afford it, but because I didn't prioritise it.

You, reading this email, can either come up with plausible-sounding reasons to delay or you can make it happen...

In a warm, non-judgemental space, I will support you, encourage you and hold you accountable to making your goals happen, right now, one step at a time.

" Don't wait. The time will never be just right ." - Napoleon Hill

If you don't make the change you want to make in your life now, when will you, really?

There will never be a 'right' time, you will never feel 100% ready.

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Want more peace?

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 09:08:34 GMT

Want more peace?

99-SECOND READ

'Peace is not the highest goal in life. It is the most fundamental requirement. '

Sadhguru

Whatever you've got going on in life, I bet you would like to feel more peaceful.

Peace is bliss: calm, clarity, love and contentment.

It's easy to forget that inner peace doesn't come from your environment. I've experienced peace in thunderstorms, London commutes and on the back of a motorbike taxi zipping precariously through the manic streets of Hanoi city, Northern Vietnam. I've also felt stress, doubt and turmoil lying on my bed or a beach.

Peace comes from the inside. It can only be destroyed by concerns or worries about what we're experiencing or what could happen to us; usually, things that we can't fully control.

We can create inner peace by accepting experiences instead of labelling them as good or bad. In doing this, we let go of the stress and tension.

Here are two objective truths to focus on that will help you let go:

Worrying about what will happen only causes me pain.
Nothing that happens to me is ultimately good or bad.

Reflect on that.

Some things may seem bad in the moment, yes. But ultimately, all events, even bad ones, create something good. It's inevitable.

Life is full of millions of chain reactions that cannot be predicted.

Whether you're worried about losing your job, a breakup, rain, or your offer on that house not getting excepted. There will always be good that will follow.

One missed opportunity leads you to another.

One bad experience teaches you a lesson and makes you stronger.

Overcoming adversity is deeply rewarding.

Understanding this empowers you to let go of labelling experiences. Then you can accept, embrace and love the infinite experiences and possibilities.

Then you can feel at peace.

This doesn't happen overnight, it takes practice and patience. So let go of that expectation right now, embrace the journey and see what happens.

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How to reclaim more time... for the things you want!

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 08:26:35 GMT

How to reclaim more time... for the things you want!

99-SECOND READ

'Do we need more time or do we need to be more disciplined with the time we have?'

Kerry Johnson

The Paradox of Time: The faster you move, the faster time seems to pass; so the less time you feel you have - the faster you move.

"Slow is smooth, smooth is fast"

This is a term that Navy SEALs use, which you can apply to your life to get more done in less time.

We live in a busy world, so there are many situations when we want to react quickly and rush from one task to the next. But in our efforts to move so quickly, we end up working less effectively.

Although it may feel counter-intuitive, slowing down, pausing between tasks, and considering your approach will not only give you the sense that you have more time (reducing anxiety and stress), but will allow you to get more done and work more effectively.

EXAMPLE:

This is my 18th newsletter (that went quickly), at the beginning, I used to type them out at full speed. Because of this, I was constantly editing, re configuring and correcting them. Now I write down an idea a few days ahead, I let the idea marinate. Then when I sit down to write, I don't start typing, I think about it. I type slower and pause to reflect. Guess what... I get them done much quicker, and I believe they're better!

Examples of unhelpful thoughts that cause us all to rush:

I have loads to do
I don't have enough time for everything
I need to get this done or else...
The faster I move the more I'll get done

Here are thoughts we can consciously choose to focus on:

I create most of my own to do lists and deadlines
I have enough time for all the things that are important
If I miss this deadline, it's will have a negligible impact on my future
I get most done when I work calmly and effectively

Replacing people's unique unhelpful thoughts with empowering ones is what I do in coaching. It transforms people's lives.

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Always late for dinner?

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 10:42:10 GMT

Always late for dinner?

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'The bad news is time flies. the good news is, you're the pilot.'

Michael Altshuler

Dinner isn't just a meal, it's a great opportunity to unwind at the end of your day and catch up with your partner or family.

I speak with lots of people who feel bad because they consistently finish work too late to eat dinner on time with the people they love. On top of the guilt, they also end up feeling less healthy because of eating late and all the knock-on effects; poor sleep, digestion, energy etc.

But it doesn't have to be this way. It is possible to finish work on time and enjoy your evening meal with the people you love.

Check out what my former client, Jo, had to say:

Before coaching with Simon I was always rushing. My workload seemed to huge to manage, I was constantly busy trying to juggle all my responsibilities. Simon helped me see how I was responsible for these problems and showed me how to get on top of my workload, become more organised and gain control of my time. I started finishing work on time to finally have dinner with my family on a regular basis. I became healthier, and felt lighter and more able to make clear decisions. I can't believe how much my life has changes and can't recommend Simon highly enough. Thank you!

Small changes like finishing work on time create a domino effect in your life. Finish on time, eat on time, relax on time, sleep on time, get up earlier, feel fresh and calm, and be more organised...

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Here's the truth about overworking?

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 10:30:02 GMT

Here's the truth about overworking

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'Do not overwork the mind any more than the body; do everything with moderation'

Francis Bacon

A 'lazy' person doesn't end up in a busy job, do they? They take an easy job, or a job where they can take it easy...

Consider the opposite of a 'lazy' person (a very hard-working person) - what kind of jobs and situations would they end up in?!

Realise that we all unconsciously create the situation and patterns in our life. So, if you overwork, it's because of your attitude, which informs the actions you take.

If you find yourself overworking, and you want to break out of this pattern, you need to understand the real reasons why!

If you, your friends or your partner are overworking, here are the top four reasons why:

They have a tendency to please people - unconsciously feeling that others won't like them if they: disagree with them, say no to their requests, challenge them, ask them to do things they won't like, ask for more (time, money, attention). Ultimately these behaviours stop people from managing others' expectations, delegating effectively, pushing back or asking for support. Because of this, their workload stacks up.
They have a 'work-hard' mentality. Some people focus more on putting the work in than getting the results. In my sales career, some colleagues used to have 10 meetings a day, 20% of them resulting in a sale. I learned to have 5-10 meetings a week, with 90% resulting in a sale. I learned to qualify the leads before going to the meeting. You can end up focusing on being busy without focusing on the results - the results are what count.
They derive their sense of self-worth and value from their career. Some people learn as they go through education, and life, that the better they do, the more they will be loved, valued and respected. One of my clients got four A's at level, now he's a 30yo CFO. He was on a quest to prove to himself that he was good enough, working all hours, towards the next achievement. Now he knows where his self-worth really comes from.
They don't have passion, meaning, learning and growth outside their career. People need to learn, grow and be passionate about things, so if they don't have that elsewhere, naturally their career takes over. If they don't have hobbies, meaningful time with their friends or partner, side projects or activities that excite and engage them, of course, they will seek that in their work.

If you recognise these in yourself or someone else, you or they can create big change through even small actions.

Do you want to make time for important things? Do you want to feel healthier and more fulfilled in your life, and your relationships?

If so, what is one step you could take?

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How to make decisions

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 14:15:44 GMT

How to make decisions

99-SECOND READ

'Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money but not more time'

Jim Rohn

We've been conditioned to believe that the harder we work, the better we will do - the more we will earn.

During education, we did long division instead of using a calculator, we memorised history instead of googling the answer and we wrote essays by hand, instead of using a laptop.

We were told that the harder we studied and revised, the better we would do. And if you tried that, you will know that it worked. Because in education we were rewarded for learning and being able to demonstrate what we had learned.

But it turns out that in the real world, that's not the case. We are only rewarded for the value we add and the results we produce. Whether it takes you 10 hours or 1 hour to; make the sale, write the article, design the ad or create the strategy - doesn't matter. It's all about the result.

If you can find a smarter, faster, better way to do it, you become more valuable.

In the last 6 months, 5 of my clients started working 10-20% less per week. While doing this, they got promoted, they got pay rises - they earned more money while improving their quality of life.

The more you rush around, the less effective you are.
The more time you give away, the less people value it.
The more you prioritise yourself, the better you perform.

Working hard is easy. It feels like a safe and reliable way to get what we want - we were conditioned to believe it is the 'right' thing, the admirable thing.

What's hard is having the discipline to stop, slow down and set boundaries.

Working less and earning more requires a mindset and discipline. You may be reading this and still wondering if it's possible, it is...

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Earn More Money, Spend Less Time

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 13:58:45 GMT

Earn More Money, Spend Less Time

99-SECOND READ

'Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money but not more time'

Jim Rohn

We've been conditioned to believe that the harder we work, the better we will do - the more we will earn.

During education, we did long division instead of using a calculator, we memorised history instead of googling the answer and we wrote essays by hand, instead of using a laptop.

If you can find a smarter, faster, better way to do it, you become more valuable.

In the last 6 months, 5 of my clients started working 10-20% less per week. While doing this, they got promoted, they got pay rises - they earned more money while improving their quality of life.

The more you rush around, the less effective you are.
The more time you give away, the less people value it.
The more you prioritise yourself, the better you perform.

Working hard is easy. It feels like a safe and reliable way to get what we want - we were conditioned to believe it is the 'right' thing, the admirable thing.

What's hard is having the discipline to stop, slow down and set boundaries.

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Your true value

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 13:38:53 GMT

Your true value

99-SECOND READ

'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.'

Eleanor Roosevelt

Understanding your true value is essential to thriving in life.

Many of my clients underestimate their value, which means they create all kinds of unhealthy dynamics in their life. For example overworking, over-committing, and settling for jobs, relationships or circumstances that are detrimental to their health and well-being.

Knowing your value means understanding your worth and what you bring to the table. It's important to know what you have to offer to the world so you can make better decisions, set healthy boundaries, take bolder actions, and ultimately get more from your career, and relationships, and create a lifestyle you love.

Having a clear understanding of what you bring to the table boosts your self-esteem and confidence, allowing you to confidently articulate why you deserve a higher salary or working hours that suit your needs. You feel empowered to live life on your terms and you're more likely to take risks and pursue opportunities that align with your goals and passions.

Knowing your value helps others too;

When you understand your worth, you're less likely to settle for less than you deserve or tolerate mistreatment, which leads to more fulfilling and healthy relationships.
It helps your colleagues see the value you bring and how they can better utilise your skills.

Make time weekly to consciously reflect on your strengths, skills, personal qualities, and the potential you have within you. One of the best ways to do this is through conversation so if you want help learning your true value allow me to help you.

It's important to note that knowing your value doesn't mean you're arrogant or overconfident. It's about recognising your worth without diminishing the value of others. It's also important to continuously evaluate and reassess your value as you grow and learn.

Realise that your value doesn't come from constantly trying to give or please others, it comes from who you are and your unique insights, talents and qualities.

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Efficiency mindset

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 13:18:05 GMT

Efficiency mindset

99-SECOND READ

'Efficiency is doing things right: effectiveness is doing the right things'

Peter Drucker

Imagine what impact it would have on your life if you could get the same amount of work done in an hour or two less a day?

Working efficiently isn't just about having the right tools and strategies - it also requires the right mindset. Here are some tips to help you cultivate the right mindset for working more efficiently:

Focus on what's important: It's easy to get bogged down in small details and lose sight of the big picture. Instead, focus on the tasks that are most important and prioritise those.
Embrace a growth mindset: A growth mindset means seeing challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as obstacles. This can help you stay motivated and resilient in the face of setbacks.
Practice self-discipline: Working efficiently requires discipline and self-control. Make a habit of setting goals and sticking to them, even when it's hard.
Stay positive: A positive attitude can help you stay motivated and energized. Try to focus on the things that are going well, rather than getting bogged down in negativity or self-doubt.
Learn to say no: Saying no to distractions, unnecessary tasks, or requests that don't align with your goals can help you stay focused and make the most of your time.

By cultivating these attitudes and habits, you can develop the mindset required to work more efficiently and effectively - reclaiming time for other things.

Remember that working efficiently is a process, and it takes time and practice to get it right.

With patience and persistence, you can achieve your goals and make the most of your time and energy.

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Pressure is a privilege!

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 12:57:49 GMT

Pressure is a privilege!

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'Pressure is a privilege, it only comes to those who earn it'

Billie Jean King

Whether or not you’re into sport, I highly recommend watching The Playbook – A Coaches Rules for Life on Netflix .

In this documentary, successful sports coaches share powerful lessons that helped them, and their teams achieve great things. It contains many valuable lessons we can apply to our own lives, lessons I use to help my clients transform their lives.

In the first episode, Doc Rivers – the legendary MBA basketball coach, explains that ‘Pressure is a privilege’.

We tend not to like being under pressure and want to avoid it. Pressure to perform at work, win a competition, hit a deadline or grow a business can be uncomfortable. Pressure implies a good result or a bad one, a win or loss, joy or sadness. A negative outcome might mean shame, embarrassment, a feeling of failure or financial implications – all things we humans want to avoid!

At the start of the season, Doc Rivers shone a spotlight on a bare patch of the wall at the Boston Celtics clubhouse. The spot where the banner would go when they won. The spotlight never went out – it was a constant reminder to the team that team must win, that their fans counted on them. The Celtics beat the favourites, the LA Lakers, that year to win the MBA. Doc explains that putting yourself in a high-pressure situation is a privilege.

If we can learn not to be afraid of it, and to embrace it, this is a powerful principle we can all apply to our own lives.

Pressure can help us perform better and achieve more.

To help you do this, you can make high-pressure situations feel less scary by not thinking of the outcome in terms of success or failure. Instead, think of them as a positive outcome, or a lesson learned. A win-win.

Not succeeding doesn't need to be shameful or embarrassing - people will admire you because you had the courage to try. Ask them!

Consider:

Where are you avoiding pressure in your life?
How could you benefit by consciously creating more
What are you really afraid of?

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Define your success to live a happier life

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 12:41:44 GMT

Define your success to live a happier life

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'Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own terms, and build a life you're proud to live'

Anne Sweeney

Google Definition: ‘Successful - Having achieved fame, wealth, or social status.’

Consciously or not, most of us want to be successful, we work towards the things we associate with success - we aspire to them and revere people who have achieved them.

The problem is that success doesn’t equal happiness.

We all know that wealth, material things, power and status can coexist with happiness, but they do not create it.

It’s possible to be successful without ever finding happiness. But you can be happy whether or not you achieve society’s definitions of ‘success’.

The problem with society’s definitions of success – the one we learn growing up – is that it’s two-dimensional, based exclusively on external, measurable factors. But human wants and needs are three-dimensional, nuanced, and unique to the individual and many are internal and immeasurable.

Therefore, it’s unlikely that prioritising society’s definition of success will lead you to a happy, healthy life.

Instead, define your own success, and pursue it with all your heart.

To work out what success means to you ask yourself powerful questions such as:

When I’m 80 years old and I look back on my life, what will matter most?
How do I want to be remembered?
What are the most important relationships, things and experiences in my life?
When were the happiest times of my life – what was I prioritising then?
What are my top five values in life? (Examples: Family, integrity, balance, health, adventure, honesty, passion)

Answering these questions will highlight what really matters to you. If you then include the answers in your personal definition of success, you have a much more complete and accurate picture of what is really important to you. Now you have something worth working towards!

The philosopher and humanitarian Albert Schweitzer said:

‘Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.’

So here’s the kicker… when you pursue the things that make you happy in life, you increase your chances of being successful in every area.

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Improve your life; slow down

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 09:35:02 GMT

Improve your life; slow down

99-SECOND READ

'Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.'

Lao Tzu

You are probably busy, busy doing lots of things, but do you know why really know what, and why?

The truth is we live in a busy world, where more is considered better. We default to the idea that the more we DO the more we will have, gain or achieve. Being busy is associated with achievement, success and therefore self-worth. But being so busy doesn’t leave time to consciously improve our life or to fully appreciate it.

When you focus less on doing, you can slow down. When you slow down, you have time to consciously consider WHAT you’re doing, WHY you’re doing it and HOW you’re doing it. The answers to these three questions unlock the key to improving our happiness and well-being.

Our busy lives of doing also get in the way of us being. Being present in the moment, being mindful and being grateful for all the important and amazing things we already have. You can become much happier and in turn feel more positive, energised and empowered by making time to appreciate and notice what you have.

The top complaints about life in western culture are about health, relationships and workplace issues (emptiness, overwork, stress or boredom). All these things are linked together – how we show up or feel in one area of our life has a huge impact on how we show up everywhere else. These areas of your life didn’t just happen, you created them. Gaining awareness of the WHAT, HOW & WHY in these areas allows you to improve them.

Examples:

Why am I stressed at work? Why do I behave like that?

How is my behaviour contributing to this problem? How do I want to feel?

What could I do to change this? What is the fear that is stopping me?

Why does this fear stop me? How could I overcome it? What would my life look like if I did?

Slowing down creates space to consciously examine, appreciate and question your life, empowering you to improve it.

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Don't diet, do this instead

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 09:08:07 GMT

Don't diet, do this instead

99-SECOND READ

'Having a healthy relationship with food means you are not morally superior or inferior based on your eating choices.'

Evelyn Tribole

Diets don’t work, here’s why:

They are outcome-focused – not lifestyle focused
They achieve finite goals – so they become redundant
They are based on doing, not being – i.e. Do this and you will get that - if doing isn't aligned with you (the human-BEING) it doesn't last

Diets can create short-term change, and they can get results, but they don’t create long-term transformation. Even when they create positive results, they rarely create a positive experience.

Since what you really want is to improve your life in the long term, and to enjoy it, diets don’t really serve you.

In fact, going on and off diets over the years can lead to beliefs such as ‘ I can’t lose weight ’ or ‘ I have no self-control ’.

‘ So what’s the alternative ?’ I hear you wonder…

Focus on who you want to be, not what you need to do. Be the version of you that eats mindfully and makes time to consider your food choices, and long-term goals and values your health highly.

Rather than saying ‘I will not eat chocolate’, focus on ‘I am a person who eats chocolate in moderation’. When you embody that version of yourself, you can use the below tools.

Make sustainable changes – things you can live with long term
Position it as a lifestyle shift – who you want to be long term
Create simple modifications to your existing ‘diet’
Think about balance and moderation – have less, not none

Using this philosophy, many of my clients have lost weight effortlessly and kept it off. What’s more, they enjoy the process and are often extremely surprised by the results.

A balanced diet is part of a balanced life – sustainable and enjoyable. My mission is to help people live more healthy, balanced and fulfilling lives because all three components go hand in hand.

A healthy diet is a vital contributor to a healthy body, a healthy body is crucial to a healthy mind.

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Improve your life in 30 days

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 08:46:54 GMT

Improve your life in 30 days

99-SECOND READ

'Every morning, we get a chance to be different. A chance to change. A chance to be better.'

Alan Bonner

If you want to improve your life, start being more grateful today.

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” – Willie Nelson

Whether you refer to the teachings of Buddha, The Bible, ancient philosophy or modern applied psychology or neuroscience; Gratitude lies at the heart of a happier, healthier life.

When you become truly grateful for everything that you have:

You will realise how incredible your life really is
You will feel more positive, and your mood will be elevated
You will worry less about the little things

Because of this, you will see fewer risks and more opportunities. Your unconscious will filter out negative events and you’ll be more prone to notice positive ones. You will feel more energised, more confident and happier!

Your inner world creates your outer world. Gratitude makes your inner world more positive… your outer reality follows.

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” – Epictetus

No matter how grateful we think we are, we can all get better at being grateful more consciously.

Please note. Being grateful isn’t about settling for what you already have - it is an important component of improving yourself and your life. While we work on achieving our goals and overcoming our challenges, it’s energising and inspiring, rather than demotivating to fully appreciate what we already have.

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Movement is a medicine

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 17:19:33 GMT

Movement is a medicine

99-SECOND READ

'Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional and mental state.'

Carol Welch

We all know that exercise is good for our body – strengthening our muscles and bones, improving our circulation, cardiovascular fitness and burning calories. But it’s easy to overlook how good it is for our mental health and well-being.

Humans are designed for movement, therefore our mind and body reward us when we make time for it.

Exercise causes our brains to release chemicals that reduce our stress levels, and boost our productivity, energy, mood, mindset, immune system, vitality, confidence and self-esteem.

Yet with all the convenience of modern life, we are moving less than ever before. We’re twice as sedentary as we were in the 1950s. Technology reduces our need to move, and work demands more from us - people now work more and move less than ever before.

But movement and exercise are a choice. We can easily build more exercise and movement into our lives if we prioritise it.

Quick fact; I live on the 6 ^th floor of an apartment block. The lift takes up to 12 seconds to call, 38 seconds to ascend, and 32 seconds to decent. The stairs take me 1 minute to walk up, and 46 seconds to walk down. The lift burns electricity, the stairs burn calories and benefit me in all the ways mentioned above on a daily basis.

Time is not an excuse not to take the stairs. So why wouldn't you take the stairs? If it's because you want to avoid the effort, why is it different from going to the gym? Think about that.

Quick wins:

Take the stairs, not the lift
Walk up escalators
Use public transport instead of your car
Walk around when you’re on the phone
Use a standing desk
Go into the office more (if you can)
Walk/cycle/run for local errands or meet friends
Take a morning & lunchtime walk

Frequency and regularity is the key! 5 minutes of movement is better than no minutes of movement. This is about balance. Micro-habitats that are done every day, make a big difference to your overall health and well-being.

In order to prioritise this, it's critical to give yourself permission. Remind yourself of the impact it will have on your life overall. When you internalise the importance of movement, you will be motivated to make time for it.

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Break your negative loops

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 15:57:14 GMT

Break your negative loops

99-SECOND READ

'Take time to deliberate but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go.'

Napoleon Bonaparte

Life is full of positive and negative feedback loops - some are obvious, and some aren’t. They have a huge impact on your quality of life. The more negative loops you break out of and turn into positive cycles, the more healthy and balanced your life will become.

Here are two common examples from my coaching clients:

You always finish work late in the evening, and by the time you’ve eaten and unwound you get to sleep late, so you wake up late; because of this you’re on the back foot all day and you finish work late.
You don’t make much time for fitness, so you’re unfit; because of this you don’t enjoy exercise or look forward to it which makes it harder to create time for it.

We can fall into more subtle negative cycles without even realising:

You can never get on top of your to-do list, and because of this you’re always rushing, and you don’t have time to pause, prioritise or plan, which makes it impossible to reduce your to-do list.
You’re a perfectionist who wants to deliver high-quality work, and because of this projects and tasks take ages and are more daunting. This means you procrastinate and put them off, putting you under more time pressure and making it harder to do perfect work.

These types of loops have a negative impact on our well-being and success. Often, we are unaware of these patterns, and when we are it can be hard to see a way out because all we see are barriers.

I help my clients build awareness, and find simple solutions to break the loop and create a positive cycle.

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Achieve your NY resolutions

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 15:36:03 GMT

Achieve your NY resolutions

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'Tomorrow, is the first blank page of 365 page book. Write a good one'

Brad Paisley

Did you know only 9% of people stick to their New Year’s Resolutions?

Many of us don’t give our goals long-term context or tie them to our values, which means we don't fully commit to them and soon give up.

Whether you want to live a more healthy, balanced and fulfilling life or achieve life-changing goals, start with this 5-step exercise to create context and meaning for your resolutions:

Grab your notebook or a blank piece of paper.
Write: How do I want to feel in the next year? Jot down as many things as you can think of.
Write: What do I want more of in the next year? Underneath, draw a line down the middle of the page to form 2 columns. Write work/business on one side and life on the other. List as many things as you can think of in both columns.
Repeat the last step, but this time ask yourself: What do I want less of in the next year? List as many points as you can in both columns.
Write: What do I need to do to achieve these changes? Write down every idea or thought that comes to you.

Now you have awareness and understanding of what is important to you, you can set meaningful resolutions.

If you found this useful, why not forward it to someone else you think would find it helpful?

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Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 10:11:14 GMT

Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.

99-SECOND READ

'Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life'

Jerzy Gregorek

This powerful quote highlights the importance of making hard choices. Our survival instincts cause us to distance ourselves from anything that is scary, threatening or painful. This often leads to us making easy choices such as putting off taking actions (making hard choices) that scare us …

For example:

Remaining in a stressful or unrewarding job
Constantly working excessive hours
Sticking with a career path that’s unfulfilling

Doing the above can feel like you’re not making a choice because you’re simply continuing with your current path. But not taking action is a choice. An easy choice.

And doing this makes life much harder in the long run; causing stress, resentment, frustration, and creating poor health and discontentment.

If you want to learn how to overcome your fear and make hard choices, watch this TED talk by Tim Ferris.

I have created a downloadable version of the Fear Setting exercise that Tim talks about in the above video. Click here to download it.

If you want to be able to make some powerful choices to transform your work-life balance and change your life, my coaching programme can help you.

You will gain the power to understand and change your behaviour, giving you:

Healthier habits and routines
More control of your work hours
More energy, focus and peace
More time for your relationships, health and hobbies

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Discover the 10 Areas of Your Life

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 11:13:06 GMT

Discover the 10 Areas of Your Life

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'The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes'

Marcel Proust

Did you know your life can be divided into 10 key areas?

Family
Friendships
Work & Career
Health & fitness
Finances & security
Passions & hobbies
Home & environment
Romantic relationships
Activities, experiences & adventure
Personal development, purpose & meaning

How satisfied are you with each of these areas of your life?

For most people, there is a large variation, with some areas being very well-satisfied, and others barely at all. Everyone needs different things to be fulfilled in these areas, and each area varies in its importance from person to person. If you want to find out more – read my blog post: Why you should aspire to live a balanced life.

Focusing too heavily on one area causes a negative impact on others.

For most people, Work & Career takes up the largest portion of time, while for some it can take over altogether, as they prioritise it above most of the other areas.

This happens for several reasons:

They get a sense of purpose, growth or validation through work that they can’t find in other areas of their life
They are overly focused on achieving wealth or status
They please people – struggling to manage the expectations of colleagues and employers

Consider that you cannot compensate for a lack in one area by improving another. It just doesn’t work that way.

What are the top three areas you would like to improve?

What do you think is really stopping you?

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How to Balance Your Life

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 10:48:34 GMT

How to Balance Your Life

99-SECOND READ

'Balance is not something you find, it's something you create'

Jana Kingsford

Do you want to spend more time doing these things?

Spending quality time with your partner or family
Sleeping well, self-care and relaxation
Enjoying passions & hobbies
Exercising or playing sport

You should be because when you prioritise them, you will feel happier, healthier and more fulfilled. You will have more energy, greater confidence and motivation - life will feel more enjoyable and rewarding!

But it’s hard to break out of the cycle of being busy, being weighed down by work, endless to-do lists, and responsibilities. You can get stuck on the back foot, trying to play catch-up and struggling to get on top, and take control of your life and prioritise yourself and the things that matter.

If you want to break this cycle and make more time for these things, you need to understand what’s really stopping you.

It’s not your workload, it’s not your boss, it’s not your industry, your partner, your children or your dog…

It’s a combination of:

How you define success
The way you value hard work
How much you value yourself
Your tendency to please people

Understanding yourself is the key to creating change. If you haven’t already, complete this free tool to gain powerful insights that will unlock changes in your life – Work-Life Harmony Assessment Tool

Do you want your life to be different?

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Find your bliss

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 10:23:41 GMT

Find Your Bliss

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'Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls'

Joseph Campbell

It’s a good time to start reflecting on how you want to live your life!

To help you with that, I suggest you watch this inspiring documentary on YouTube. Finding Joe is full of beautiful, empowering messages and lessons about living life. It explains the concept of finding your bliss, which is about living a life of passion and purpose. I hope that it provides you with some inspiration for what you could create next year.

One of my favourite quotes from the movie:

“If you bargain away your life for security now, you will never find your bliss.” - Joseph Campbell

From a young age, 99% of us were conditioned to pursue financial stability and security, unfortunately, while that may lead you to safety, it's unlikely to lead you to happiness. One to think about!

Here’s the link again Finding Joe Movie.

If you, like many people, want to find YOUR bliss, but you feel stuck, or unsure of how to get there, get in touch - because my bliss is helping other people find theirs.

If you found this useful, please forward it to anyone who you think will benefit.

Subscribe to Work-Life Harmony Wednesdays to receive a free weekly email that will help you live a more healthy, balanced and fulfilling life.

How to live consciously, work less & achieve more!

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 09:16:39 GMT

How to live consciously, work less & achieve more!

99-SECOND READ

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. "

Abraham Lincoln

Because life is precious, I believe we should embrace this gift and make the most out of it. To me, that means not wasting it feeling unfulfilled, unhealthy or cruising through it on autopilot.

Do you wake up smiling? Do you feel calm, grateful and excited for the day ahead, 7 days a week?

You might think this sounds too good to be true… But trust me, it's very possible! The good news is, just working towards your goals improves your life and elevates your happiness because humans are naturally fulfilled by learning and working towards goals!

My mission is to help millions of people live consciously so that they can live more healthy, balanced and fulfilling lives.

When you bring your unconscious into your conscious, you become aware of the fears, doubts and insecurities that hold you back from the life you want.

Real-Life Example:

One of my clients had a great job as a VP at a top bank, but they were working 90+ hours a week. They had barely any time to see family, friends, or do exercise, and they couldn’t switch off at the weekend. Through our conversations, my client realised that because they felt they didn't fit in, they constantly tried to prove themselves to win the respect of their colleagues and earn their place at the table. With this awareness, we explored their true value, and they were able to let go of the insecurity that caused this behaviour. It allowed them to set boundaries, begin declining calls at the weekend and let go of the need to pick up every new project that came their way. They reclaimed time to spend doing the things they value, which allowed them to feel more relaxed and confident, and within weeks of working less… they were even offered a promotion.

The best way to become more aware of the fears, doubts and insecurities that are holding you back is to have a conversation about your challenges with someone you trust. Be open, explore and reflect.

You can use these questions as prompts:

What do you want to achieve/change?
What would it take to do that?
What do you fear will happen if you do this?
What's really holding you back?
What do you think other people will make of this?

I hope you found this useful, and if you did, please share it with anyone you think will benefit.

Subscribe to Work-Life Harmony Wednesdays to receive a free weekly email that will help you live a more healthy, balanced and fulfilling life.

How to move more!

Tue, 09 May 2023 10:20:44 GMT

How to move more and why you should!

99-SECOND READ

"Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, mental and emotional states."

- Carol Welch

Exercise causes our brains to release chemicals that reduce our stress levels, and boost our productivity, energy, mood, mindset, immune system, vitality, confidence and self-esteem.

But movement and exercise are a choice. We can easily build more exercise and movement into our lives if we prioritise it.

Time is not an excuse not to take the stairs. So why wouldn't you take the stairs? If it's because you want to avoid the effort, why is it different from going to the gym? Think about that.

Quick wins:

Take the stairs, not the lift
Walk up escalators
Use public transport instead of your car
Walk around when you’re on the phone
Use a standing desk
Go into the office more (if you can)
Walk/cycle/run for local errands or meet friends
Take a morning & lunchtime walk

Frequency and regularity is the key! 5 minutes of movement is better than no minutes of movement. This is about balance. Microhabitats that are done every day, make a big difference to your overall health and well-being.

In order to prioritise this, it's critical to give yourself permission.

Remind yourself of the impact it will have on your life overall. When you internalise the importance of movement, you will be motivated to make time for it.

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

This is how to overcome your fear of change

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 08:32:24 GMT

This is how to overcome your fear of change

99-SECOND READ

"Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear"

George Addair

Fear stops us making positive changes in our lives. Of course you might not be aware of it, your mind is good at tricking you into thinking you can’t make that change or there are logical reasons why you shouldn’t. In fact, the biggest and most important changes tend to be the scariest and therefore the hardest ones to make.

Why we fear change

We’re hardwired to fear change – it’s an evolutionary survival mechanism that lives in our reptilian brain. Our ancestors learned that if their basic needs were being met (food, shelter, safety) it was safest to stay in one place and stick to their routine. Changing these things exposed them to uncertainty and the unknown – they could find themselves without a reliable food source or vulnerable to predators. They learned to exaggerate the potential dangers of uncertainty and risk in order to survive – hence our strong aversion to leaving our comfort zone and stability behind.

Even when we change something about ourselves – from quitting smoking to changing career – we can feel unsure how it will threaten our identity, therefore triggering our fear of the unknown.

We all perceive, and fear change differently depending on past experiences and how risk-prone or optimistic we are.

How to overcome your fear of change

Finding the courage to face and overcome the fear of change will benefit you in many ways and allow you to transform yourself or areas of your life for the better.

“Fortune favours the brave”

Rationalise by considering that we have things like savings, pensions and insurance to protect our security and welfare. Luckily for us, unlike our ancestors, if we decide to move to a new area or country for a different lifestyle, we most likely won’t run the risk of getting eaten by vicious predators. Change can mean less security, short-term discomfort or less disposable income, but it doesn’t mean death or starvation. In the modern world, there are many variables of change, and fortunately, through planning these can be controlled, predicted and accounted for.
Remind yourself that there are very few things in life that can’t be undone if you really need to. The worst-case scenario often means returning to where you are now, with valuable life experience.
Acknowledge that job titles, habits, relationship status or family roles don’t define who we are. Even changing our behaviour – like overcoming negativity, building our self-worth or confidence – doesn’t mean letting go of who you are. We can feel empowered rather than afraid when admitting that we’re flawed and could benefit from changing something about ourselves.
Make yourself more motivated by the benefits of change than the fear that is holding you back. Focus on what you will gain, visualise it and write it down, consider everything it will give you. Get the goal clear in your mind and become so excited about the rewards that the fear seems insignificant.

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

How to keep a balanced perspective on your life

Thu, 17 Feb 2022 12:02:10 GMT

How to keep a balanced perspective on your life

99-SECOND READ

The moon is always the same distance from earth, yet it appears to change size dramatically based on how close it is to the horizon. Its appearance comes down to where you are and what time it is when you look at it.

Life is full of illusions like this.

The importance of a balanced perspective

Your perspective influences how you think and feel, the decisions you make, your attitude to life, what you focus on and ultimately how happy you are. Without a balanced perspective it's easy to lose sight of what really matters to us and forget the value of what we have.

5 reasons why we lose perspective:

We adjust our thoughts, behaviour and beliefs to suit our environment and circumstances so we can function effectively. This change occurs slowly as life evolves without us noticing. But even an overwhelming, exciting or scary change quickly becomes the norm. Remember how weird it seemed doing ‘normal’ things again after a few months of lockdown?
Powerful emotions, instincts, needs and desires alter our point of view – from security, fear and survival, to love, fulfilment and satisfaction. Depending on which one of these we are operating from, we see our situation more or less favourably.
We benchmark experiences through a process called perceptual contrast. E.g. We determine our wealth by comparing ourselves to our neighbours and friends. Imagine you move to a much more affluent or less wealthy neighbourhood, how would that effect how you think, feel and act? Although nothing for you would have actually changed.
Our brains receive millions of pieces of information a day. An unconscious filter automatically selects and prioritizes information according to what our friends, society, the media, and other information sources tell us is important. It’s easily influenced – due to the Frequency Illusion (after noticing something for the first time, you tend to notice it more often), you will start noticing the size of the moon, just because you read about it here. So the information we absorb literally changes what we pay attention to.
On top of all of this, we ultimately perceive ourselves based on how we think others see us, which, quite frankly, we can never really know.

“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am;

I am who I think you think I am”

Charles Horton Cooley

Maintaining Perspective

Although it may not seem like it, we can choose our perspective. Here's some things you can do:

Be vigilant – look out for ideas and beliefs that distort your view of the world, yourself and your life
Make yourself consciously aware of the tricks and illusions that your mind and life plays on you
Choose carefully who and what you pay attention to and benchmark yourself against
Get clear on what really matters to you and continually remind yourself of that
Audit the information you absorb and recognise the influence it has on you
Consider how you mood and emotions are affecting your outlook

These actions will help you maintain a balanced perspective, helping you to feel happy and fulfilled by your life.

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

How to get to sleep on time

Sun, 23 Jan 2022 18:07:44 GMT

How to get to sleep on time

99-SECOND READ

“Sleep is the best meditation."

Dalai Lama

Get to sleep on time & get your time back

Quality sleep is crucial for your mental and physical health. It also makes starting your day on time easier, and helps you feel fresh and well-rested. Unfortunately many people struggle to get to sleep on time, which means they sleep in later than they want or wake up feeling tired and lethargic.

Getting to sleep earlier therefore makes you more energetic and productive - allowing you to reclaim time in the morning and throughout the day - contributing to a well-balanced life.

Create and evening routine

The No. 1 reason that my clients struggle to fall asleep is because they can't switch off. This is often due to working late, especially now that many of us WFH.

Creating an evening routine that allows you to unwind and properly prepare for sleep is the best way to overcome this problem. For better success, involve anyone you live with in your routine or get them to support it.

Points and ideas:

1.Eat dinner at least 3 hours before bed to allow for proper digestion

2. Stop work or study at least 2 hours before bed

3. Turn on a blue light filter on your phone, laptop & TV from 6pm onwards – blue light disrupts melatonin production, which is the hormone that makes you sleepy

4. Get off your phone and stop watching TV at least 1 hour before bed. Instead you can try:

A relaxing activity like doing a puzzle, drawing or journaling
Listen to (calming) music
Have a bath or do an indulgent skincare routine
Read a book or magazine
Calm stretches or yoga
Meditation

5. Create a relaxing mood: Light a scented candle, dim the lights, drink camomile tea

6. Start getting ready for bed 1 hour before you want to sleep

7. If there’s anything on your mind when you go to bed, write it down or set a reminder to deal with it tomorrow – this will help you forget about it until the next day

8.Don’t use your phone in bed – instead, listen to soothing music or sleep meditation tracks or read

To build your routine and make it into habit, you can set reminders throughout the evening to prompt you through the steps. Experiment and develop a routine that works for you.

2 More Tips

Exercise regularly – it’s proven to reduce the time it takes to get to sleep and improve sleep quality.
Avoid caffeine after 3pm. Caffeine can remain in your system for up to 7 hours! Caffeine blocks adenosine, which is the chemical your body releases to make you sleep.

Note: some people notice the effects of caffeine more than others.

Like any goal, to be successful, it’s very important to build your motivation. So consider all the things that going to sleep earlier will give you – better health, brighter mood, more focus and increased productivity; ultimately more time for yourself and things you want to do.

Lastly, remember that life is about balance, so sometimes it’s okay to forget the rules and routine, be in the moment, and have fun!

NOTE: To find out more about the incredible benefits of sleep, check out the fascinating book Why We Sleep , by Matthew Walker.

The challenge with any advice like this can be implementing it in your life – if you want to work on your sleep patterns or factors that affect your sleep, such as working late, stress or exercise, I would love to help.

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

Why you should aspire to live a balanced life

Sun, 09 Jan 2022 14:44:34 GMT

Why you should aspire to live a balanced life

99-SECOND READ

“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.”

Jana Kingsford

What is a balanced life?

A well-balanced life means having enough of what you need in all the important areas of your life, which allows you to feel happy, healthy and fulfilled.

Here’s a reminder of the 10 important areas of life:

Family
Work & career
Wealth & security
Creative expression
Friends & socialising
Home & environment
Romantic relationships
Mental & physical health
Activities, experiences and adventures
Personal development, purpose & meaning

Key Points

Exactly what you require from each of these areas depends on your personality, priorities and values. E.g. People need very different levels of creativity, socialisation or wealth to feel satisfied.
Your needs will change over the course of your life. E.g. As your career develops, you may want more meaning / purpose from it, or how much you want to socialise may change as you get older, particularly if you start a family.
You can’t compensate for a problem in one area by focusing more on another. E.g. If you are bored or unfulfilled by your career, focusing on fun activities or holidays won’t help you feel better.
Achieving balance requires some consistency. Being on and off or up and down in any area will usually leave you feeling dissatisfied or frustrated. E.g. Exercising or dieting irregularly ultimately won’t help you feel good about your health.
Focusing excessively on one area usually creates a negative impact on other areas, which is where balance comes in. We simply have a finite amount of time and energy to spend. Sometimes it’s necessary to concentrate on one area of your life in order to achieve a goal, but if this continues for extended periods of time, it’s likely to throw the others off course and have a negative effect on how you feel.

Aspiring to live a more balanced life

Although life is never perfect and there are always things that we can’t control – we can create more balance in our life. Steadily making positive changes, however small, accumulate to make a big impact on how happy, healthy and fulfilled we feel.

Ultimately cultivating a well-balanced life mean’s making the most of life, which might just be the ultimate goal?

Incidentally, the act of working to improve areas of your life and create more balance feeds into personal development, purpose and meaning, so it’s fulfilling in itself.

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

How to Set Goals That Stick

Tue, 28 Dec 2021 15:00:30 GMT

How to Set Goals That Stick

99-SECOND READ

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the

courage to pursue them."

Walt Disney

Imagine the impact it would have on your life if you could set meaningful goals and stick to them.

Everyone knows that setting goals helps achieve the things that matter to us. But so often they fall by the wayside within months, weeks or even days.

Why Goals Don't Stick

When we set goals we're excited about the benefits they bring to our life, which contribute to health, happiness, stability or fulfilment. Because of this we often overlook the fact that working towards a goal – particularly in the early stages – isn’t always enjoyable or gratifying. A short-term sacrifice is necessary – usually a combination of time, energy, comfort or money - to achieve the goal.

E.g. You felt so excited about a fitter, healthier you that you didn’t prepare for the brunches you’d have to skip or those cold wet January workouts.

The bigger the goal, the more effort and sacrifice required to achieve it. So we often find ourselves caught off guard by the reality, with an internal struggle between what we want to achieve in the future and what we're prepared to sacrifice in the current moment.

“The important thing is this: to be ready at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.”

Charles Dickens

The other problem is that many goals describe a final outcome: “I will buy a house this summer” or “run 5k in under 30 minutes”. Because these goals aren't immediately achievable they can feel distant, making them hard to prioritise now. On top of this, you don’t have full control over these outcomes and therefore can’t guarantee they will happen. So when you put in a lot of effort, but progress is slow or things don’t go to plan, it’s discouraging, making it easy to quit.

How to set goals that stick

Reinforce your reason why

Write down all the reasons why you want to achieve your goal and what it will bring to your life. You can turn this list into a mood board to make it more visual. Looking at it daily will help you stay motivated and resilient to the short-term discomfort and sacrifices.

Prepare for the sacrifices

Make a list of all the sacrifices you will need to make in the short term and consider how you will deal with them. Remind yourself that working on your goal will be tough at times and you won’t always feel like it. This will remove the shock that throws you off course when the going gets tough, reprograming you to respond more positively.

Break your goal down

If your goal describes a final outcome, break it down into ‘performance goals’, then focus on these. E.g. Goal: I will lose 4kg by June. Performance goal: I will exercise for 1 hour 3 x per week and eat a specific diet. Focusing on the exercise and the diet is more empowering because you have immediate control over it, unlike the amount of weight you eventually lose.

Create an accountability partner

Human's are psychologically wired to strive to uphold commitments they make to others. You can tap into this trait by sharing your goal with a friend and asking them to hold you accountable. Report your progress to them weekly - they support and monitor your progress. In fact, the more people you tell about your goal, the more committed to it you will be.

Following these steps will dramatically increase your chances of sticking to your goals! Just in case it doesn't go without saying, all goals should be SMART - check out the link if you're unsure.

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

Why hobbies are more important than you think!

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 20:21:05 GMT

Why hobbies are more important than you think!

99-SECOND READ

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”

Oprah

How much time do you spend doing things you love?

It’s so important to prioritise passions and hobbies, here’s 9 reasons why:

More than just pleasurable activities, hobbies involve learning and developing new skills, they can stimulate us emotionally, physically, creatively and intellectually.
Our brains work like a muscle; the more we exercise them, the better they perform. So whether you’re learning a language, knitting, surfing, drawing, dancing or rock climbing, you are learning. This improves cognitive function and your ability to learn other new skills, which benefits other areas of your life.
The natural goal of any hobby is to become better at it. Making improvements and gaining new skills is empowering. It creates a sense of achievement and therefore boosts self-confidence and self-worth.
It’s easy to spend a lot of time absorbing media, and while it can be entertaining, it often adds little real benefit to your life. Hobbies act as an incentive not to waste time on media – something to be excited about, that pulls you away from the screen.
Hobbies can help moderate your work hours and provide a structure or routine throughout your week, that doesn’t revolve around work. You’re also more likely to finish work at a reasonable time if you have an evening activity planned that you’re looking forward to.
Hobbies create and reinforce a sense of identity, which has a profound effect on confidence.
People who do things they are passionate about tend to be more interesting and engaging, allowing them to connect with, lead and inspire others.
You can meet people with similar interests, ideas or talents through your hobbies. An amazing way to expand your social circle or connect with people from different walks of life.
Many hobbies have an output that benefits others – whether you create beautiful paintings, food, music or play sport. It’s likely to entertain, inspire or simply bring joy to other people.

If you have hobbies, are you making enough time for them?

If you don’t, is it because you’re not prioritising them?

Or if you just don’t you know what you enjoy – try something new this week and keep trying new things until you find that one thing that lights a fire inside you. The journey will be rewarding.

Start Working Hard on Working Smart!

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 07:29:25 GMT

Start Working Hard on Working Smart!

99-SECOND READ

"The world rewards you for value provided, not time spent."

James Clear

For many reasons, we tend to associate a good job with hard work and effort – the purpose of this post is to explain why it will benefit you to focus on the results, not the time you put in.

It started when we were young

From a young age we were told to work hard and to try hard, because hard work is a reliable way to get things done. It also educates children that they shouldn’t be lazy and need to work for the things they want in life. So, we grow up with a strong belief in hard work.

However, like a lot of things we’re told when we’re young, there’s more to it than that.

The way we’re paid is misleading

If you’re employed, you’re paid for your time – a salary, contracted to work a certain number of hours a week, or you’re paid on an hourly rate.

Because of this, it can feel like we’re paid for the hours we put in – in reality that’s just societies way of trying to pay people fairly. We’re actually paid of the results we achieve - no matter what job you do.

The time we spend, only matters when we do a bad job

If you deliver a great piece of work and submit it before the deadline, you will be praised – no one will be concerned with how long it took you. If you do a poor piece of work and submit it late, you will be asked how long you spent on it / how ‘hard’ you’re working.

It’s the results that count!

· When our results are good - they are the measure

· When our results are poor - time spent becomes the measure

Work smarter, not harder – ‘Sharpen Your Axe’

Focus on working smarter; do better work in less time.

Then benefit from the upward spiral; become more rested – do better work – become more rested and produce better results. Your employers will thank you, and you will thank yourself.

Watch this very concise explanation from Simon Sinek here .

There are lots of simple ways to work smarter – check out a few in my 99-second Post – 7 Ways to Work Smarter

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

Here Are Seven Ways To Work Smarter

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 20:47:57 GMT

Here Are Seven Ways To Work Smarter

99-SECOND READ

"Don’t confuse activity with productivity. Many people are simply busy being busy."

Robin Sharma

Working smarter allows you to achieve better results in less time. It means moving away from simply being busy, towards productivity and effectiveness. Cultivating this behaviour is critical to achieving a successful career and a happy balanced life.

Working Smart Mindset

Working smart is focusing on working on the right thing, at the right time, in the most effective way possible.

You can get into this mindset by imagining you had just 1 day a week to do your job. Really imagine it as a reality – what would you do differently? Apply the ideas below and see how you get on.

7 Ways To Work Smarter

Manage expectations of colleagues, customers & clients – don’t commit to tight deadlines unless absolutely necessary – reduce your time pressure, creating space to prioritise wisely and focus on what is important.
Don’t waste energy on things you can’t control – if it’s out of your hands, forget about it. Work only on what you can influence.
Revise your methods, routines and processes – don’t keep doing things the same way just because you always have, constantly check to see if there’s a more efficient or effective way.
Choose the best communication method – there’s so many available these days. Sometimes one short phone call can save a long back and forth on messaging apps. On the other hand – don’t pick up the phone to that person you now will waste your time.
Say no to meetings you don’t need to attend – they are a huge time waster. Unless you’re really adding value or gaining value, don’t go. Maybe another attendee can summarise the outputs/actions later?
Work on a smaller number of higher value activities – doing fifty small deals will take longer, cost more and yield less than doing one huge deal.
Do not multitask – turn off your emails / notifications if you have to, don’t get side-tracked by emails or WhatsApp and don’t jump from task to task, it’s a huge time waster! Do one thing at a time.

I’d love to hear any thoughts or ideas you have and how these points help you. Why not drop me a line?

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

Do you know how you really spend your time?

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 20:41:05 GMT

Do you know how you really spend your time?

99-SECOND READ

“Time is what we want the most, but what we use the worst”

William Penn – English Poet & Thinker

How do you really spend your time?

Spend 99-seconds reading this post and gain thousands of hours over the rest of your life.

You’re busy right? You don’t have enough time for all the fun, rewarding or important things. You want more time for work, relaxation, socialising, romance, hobbies etc. But I guarantee you don’t know how you really spend your time. It can be reclaimed, but until you understand where it goes, you can't get it back.

A breakdown of your time

There’s 168 hours in a week.

If you aim for the recommended 8 hours of sleep; sleeping or trying to sleep takes at least 56 hours, that 33% of the week.

At a reasonable 45 hours, working & commuting uses 40% of the remaining 112 hours.

That leaves you with 67 hours for everything else – let's call this Free Time .

Here’s some typical ways your Free Time get used up:

With up to 72% of your Free Time is spent on the above activities, you are left with 18 hours per week for everything else .

And there's still some essential things that use up this time:

- Personal admin (finance, bills etc)

- Home maintenance/improvement

- Grocery shopping

- Personal hygiene

- Jobs & chores

- Cleaning

Conclusion

Time is precious and we are left with very little Free Time. Through being mindful of how you spend your time, you can choose what you spend it on and how you use it.

If you want more time for fun, rewarding or important activities such as hobbies, learning, socialising, exercise, creative or charitable endeavours – you need to prioritise them.

Cut down on low value activities such as watching TV or social media – they take up more time than you think and don't contribute anything meaningful to your life. There are other, more rewarding ways to relax and spend your time. If you're working long hours or have a long commute, be brave; find a way to cut them down.

No matter how busy you are with work or other areas of your life, it's important to realise, that you can choose how you spend your time and make time for the things that matter.

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

What Really is Work-Life Balance?

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 20:26:33 GMT

What Really is Work-Life Balance?

99-SECOND READ

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony."

Thomas Merton

Work-life balance refers to the relationship you have with your work or career and how it synergises with the rest of your life. It's not just about how much time you spend working - it's how much time and energy you put into your personal and professional goals. How your occupation aligns with who you are and the lifestyle you want. True work-life balance means work-life harmony.

The 10 areas of life

To gain perspective, it’s helpful to remind ourselves of the key areas of life:

Family
Friends
Work & career
Health and fitness
Finances & wealth
Creative expression
Physical environment
Romantic relationships
Personal / spiritual development
Activities, experiences and adventures

Surprised by how many there are? Neglecting any of them?

Together they create the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual fulfilment we need to feel happy, healthy and fulfilled. These areas will have a different level of importance to each of us – depending on our individual values, desires, interests and needs - they can all be challenging, rewarding and exciting!

Work-life balance in a nutshell

A healthy work-balance allows enough time and energy for all the important areas of life. The key to lasting happiness; it means a career that fulfils you and challenges you in the right ways, aligns with who you are, what you value and the lifestyle you want.

Key considerations:

How motivated and fulfilled you feel by work?
How much time you have for all the important areas of life?
When, where and how you work, who you work with and what you do?
How does your job align with who you are and what you want from life?
How much time and energy do you spend on personal and professional goals?

Think in terms of work-life harmony – this creates a more productive and holistic view of your life and how all the different areas, including work, fit together.

To understand how to assess your own work-life balance – find out how in my post : Understand Your Work-Life Balance.

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

Have you fallen into the career trap?

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 20:00:27 GMT

Have you fallen into the career trap?

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Most of us want a career that fulfils and challenges us and provides our desired income, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of over prioritising career over all other areas of life. So, how do you know you’re stuck in the career trap?

The work-life trade-off

We have a finite amount of time and energy. The more of it you devote to your career, the less you have for everything else and the more invested you become in your professional goals and the associated rewards.

“There are no solutions, only trade-offs.”

Thomas Sowell, Economist & Social Theorist

The career Trap

Career goals emerge quickly:

- I want to get promoted

- I want to earn more money

- I want to make a difference

- I want to have a successful career

These goals make sense, they motivate us and lead to obvious rewards. But as we climb the career ladder and achieve our goals, we instantly set new ones because there is always the next level to aim for.

This is the trap.

How we justify overworking

When we find ourselves working long hours, even in a job we don’t enjoy, it’s easy to justify because society supports the idea that hard work is aspirational, earning more money is good, and having a distinguished career represents success. This brilliant article by the BBC explains how we glorify the culture of overworking.

We tell ourselves things such as:

- Hard work is what it takes to be successful

- I value and enjoy working hard

- I have a busy/important job

- I’m investing in my future

How to get out of the career trap

Your beliefs guide your behaviors.

Stop defining success as: achieving high status and wealth .

Start defining sucess as: a life & career that provides balance, stability and fulfillment.

Consider how quickly you need to reach your next career goal
Think deeply about what you’re sacrificing in the pursuit of the next pay rise?
Focus on working smarter, not harder so that you get to truly live and enjoy your life along the way…

Check out my post: Start working hard on working smart

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

Are You Aware How Much You Sell Your Time For?

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 19:49:03 GMT

Are You Aware How Much You Sell Your Time For?

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"You can do so much in ten minutes’ time. Ten minutes, once gone, are gone for good. Divide your life into 10-minute units and sacrifice as few of them as possible in meaningless activity."

Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA

The time in your life is finite; no matter how much money you have, you can’t buy any more. In this post I’m going to expose the truth behind how much you’re really selling it for.

These two examples demonstrate the link between the hours we work and our compensation:

Example 1: Small job, big pay.

Jenny is on a £50k salary in a job where she works from 9 – 5 (37.5 hours per week – a standard UK full-time contract). So Jenny earns £26 per hour.

James does the same job on the same salary for a different company. He’s not as productive as Jenny, and there’s a ‘work hard’ office culture, which he believes in, so he works from 8:30-6:30, (50 hours per week). So, James earns £19 per hour.

The result:

James earns 27% less an hour than Jenny
Every 100 hours Jenny works, she earns £70 more than James

FACT: Every hour of unpaid overtime you do a week reduces your hourly rate by 2.7%

Example 2: Big job, small pay.

Sophie works hard in a well-paid senior management role in a large company, she earns £90k a year and regularly clocks up 75-hour weeks. She therefore earns £23 per hour – that’s 12% less than our friend Jenny.

Jenny also has 37+ hours per week (140 hours per month) more free time than Sophie: time to live her life.

The result: Jenny is paid 12% more for every hour she works and has nearly double the amount of free time, which allows her to do more exercise, sleep properly, spend more quality time with her family and loved ones, spend more on her hobbies, passions and contributing to causes she cares about.

Who really values their time more?
Who has a more balanced life?

Take Action

Your time is infinitely valuable - never confuse the value of your time with how much someone is prepared to pay for it.

Define your professional value by the amount you’re paid per hour.

This tool can will calculate it for you: https://www.omnicalculator.com/finance/salary-to-hourly

By the way, If you can cut your work hours back by an hour per day that’s 261 extra hours a year – 16 waking days!

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

How to Understand Your Work-Life Balance

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 19:25:58 GMT

How to Understand Your Work-Life Balance

99-SECOND READ

Work-life balance effects every area of your life ( see What Really is Work-Life Balance for details ). It has a huge impact on our happiness and health; therefore it’s important to understand your work-life balance ad where it could be improved. It should be assessed regularly, as your work patterns, routines and responsibilities change.

Here are some wayt to get a better understanding of your work-life balance.

Don’t Compare

It’s important not to compare your lifestyle with anyone else’s.

We all have our own needs, motivations, drives, skills, careers, values, tendencies, personalities, interests, family lives and goals. Because of this, comparison is pointless.

Make Time for Self-Reflection

Instead, make time for self-reflection – listen to your thoughts & feelings.

What feels good about your lifestyle and your work, what could be better, what are you ignoring?

Examples of thoughts to listen to:

I don’t have enough time for myself or the things I want to do
I don’t enjoy my job, or it doesn’t feel meaningful
I feel like I’m always working
My job controls my lifestyle

Ask yourself: How much focus am I giving the 10 areas of life (see them here ) and what role does work play in my life overall?

Look at the facts:

· How many hours a week do you spend working and commuting?

· How’s your sleep - if it isn’t good or you’re not getting enough of it, why not?

· How much time do you have each month for yourself, your family and friends, R&R, hobbies?

Jot these facts down, think about them. How happy are you with what you see?

Reflecting on your work-life balance will increase your understanding of your personal circumstances and raise your awareness of how happy you feel overall.

Get Specific About What You Want

To make this insight productive, get specific about what you want to improve. Focus on what you would change in an ideal world. E.g:

· You want to cycle to work

· You want to finish work by 6

· You want to get 8 hours sleep

· You want to exercise 3 times a week

· You want to stop working on the weekends

· You want to have 2 hours to yourself / with your family every morning

Summary

Your goals, desires and needs are unique, the better you understand how they align with your current work-life balance, the more able you’ll be to cultivate a lifestyle that suits you.

The closer more your work-life balance suits you, the happier, healthier and you’ll feel.

If you found that interesting, you can subscribe to the 99-SECOND BLOG to stay up to date with insights and ideas on how to live a balanced life.

Life Coaching: The Experience of a Sceptic

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 12:50:27 GMT

Life Coaching: The Experience of a Sceptic

~ GUEST POST ~ 99-SECOND READ

They say the first step on your journey to overcoming an addiction is acknowledging that you have a problem. For me, my addiction was work.

I call it an addiction because I seemingly wasn’t able to stop my bad habits of overworking, and I was mostly blind to the impact of my behaviour on those around me. It sounds extreme, but the effects of overworking can be too, and I know I am not alone in experiencing this struggle.

In mid-2020, during the global coronavirus pandemic, the problem was exacerbated and I decided to do something about it; I began life coaching with Simon.

What did I learn about life coaching?

I didn’t know much about life coaching before I started my sessions. I thought it involved a therapist offering worldly wisdom based on their years of lived experience. I was therefore sceptical of any ‘young’ life coaches, after all how much ‘life wisdom’ would they really have to offer?

As I soon discovered, life coaching is focused on listening, questioning and guiding an individual to achieve specific goals. For me, the experience was important for two key reasons:

Being asked the right questions (and having to answer!). Life coaching helped me to challenge my thinking and repeat behaviours. Questions that seemed so simple, such as ‘why do you work so much?’ were questions I had never stopped to reflect on — and were also surprisingly challenging to answer.
Developing tools to help me achieve my goals. The life coaching sessions helped me to reflect on my goal and provided tips to help me make practical changes in my life. By attending regular life coaching sessions, I was also being held accountable.

How has life coaching helped me?

Prior to life coaching, I had never considered my overworking to be a problem that needed addressing. I willingly dedicated a significant amount of extra time - my ‘me’ time - to my job and I justified this behaviour with a thousand different excuses.

Through life coaching I have learnt to challenge those thoughts and take practical steps to help make a change, develop healthier habits, and make better choices.

Written by: Danika Ferguson